


but it's the pretty little complicated moments we know of

by alisonisuniverse



Category: Booksmart (2019)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:54:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24098389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alisonisuniverse/pseuds/alisonisuniverse
Summary: Amy texts Hope for the first time on the flight back home from Botswana...
Relationships: Amy & Molly (Booksmart), Amy/Hope (Booksmart), Jared/Molly (Booksmart)
Comments: 40
Kudos: 106





	1. Botswana

**Chapter One**

One year ago, Amy flew to Botswana. And today she flies back to Los Angeles and she honestly thinks it's unbelievable how fast her gap year went by.

The first month seemed like she wasn't where she was meant to be. Molly told her everything about the crazy university life and how Annabelle and her are really getting along even though it was a little awkward knowing her 'past'. They lived ironically on the same floor and had this weird texting relationship where they would keep each other updated about the other girls of the hallway. Annabelle often made Molly go to the wildest college parties and tried to get into this sorority which was a real cliché.

Molly told her that she had been drinking more alcohol than ever and some nights Gigi and Jared would just show up randomly. Gigi still seemed to be the same weirdo as always but somehow everyone knew her at Yale? And as soon as Gigi made a video of herself, she saw that Gigi had many more followers on YouTube since she got to college. The most popular video – of course – had to be Gigi making out drunk with some girl named Mimi. Amy hated and loved this a pretty equal amount.

As the months flew by and Amy and Molly couldn't always text or call each other because of the time difference and their university/gap year going on, Amy didn't feel like missing out so much anymore. It may have been better to not know all the details on how everyone was changing in the US and living their own lives.  
She really loved seeing the thankful women who were used to be scared for their lives. Nothing could compare with that, not even getting the best grades in college. Amy got reminded daily how crazy it is that sanitary ware wasn't equally available worldwide, just as well as food and clean water. She will never look at a hamburger the same again. Botswana is a very developed country with a good economy and education. Still it's so different from Los Angeles, she usually wouldn't believe her eyes. And honestly, the food was great but she misses her parents' cooking so much. It's probably just about the habit of eating their food her whole life.

Botswana has a lot of airports and during the holidays Amy and her host family flew over to Johannesburg in South Africa which was just amazing. All of them went to a big theme park inside the city and had so much fun riding the roller coasters and eating all the junk food. Amy even won a plushy and immediately sent Molly a picture of the fluffy tiger and her.

**Molly:** _I feel blessed seeing such beauty!!!_

_What did Ling-Ling say?_

**Amy:** _I didn't tell her yet... trouble in paradise awaits._

Molly sent a picture of her holding up a peace sign and Annabelle in the background wearing a flower crown.

**Molly:** _We are getting ready for a peaceful protest in the city!_

**Amy:** _I have to fly over to tell you that you just made my heart skip a beat_

**Molly:** _You should talk to Hope about that... :p_

Molly always pushed her to talk to Hope after the whole bathroom incident. She never understood why Amy didn't text her the minute, she saved her number in her phone.

“Honestly Amy... you fucked her in a really weird way for the 'first time' possibly and even though she seemed really interested. I don't see the problem texting her the peach emoji.”, Molly said once... or maybe twice. Or actually Molly said that so often Amy could never use the peach emoji ever again.

The piece of paper with Hope's phone number written on it – in the most beautiful handwriting by the way – made Amy shiver whenever she looked at it. She really didn't know if she should text or call, so she never did anything. What was she even suppose to say? Should she play it cool not mentioning the bathroom or should she play it cool by making it sound like it wasn't the most embarrassing thing she ever did? Amy didn't want to do either and it definitely wasn't an option sending Hope the peach emoji. Amy still felt very bad though. Maybe Hope was waiting for her to make the next move but as time passed by, Amy got more and more scared to start a conversation.

While time flew by, she met a lot of new people – mostly from Europe – who stayed with families in the same area as her. All these students were just awesome and had so much to tell, they started making this 'worldwide chat' where all the volunteers had the opportunity to tell their stories and organize meeting each other. She really connected with a volunteer named Jacob who now holds a special place in her little heart. Jacob stayed with a family two houses away from hers. He and his host grandmother just came in one day after Amy had been in Botswana for about three months and she told him to learn something about women in a very cute broken English. She seemed furious with him so Amy's inner feminist awoke just this minute.

“That was kind of weird?”, she said and introduced herself.

“You know, she doesn't understand me all the time. But this time she mixed something up very badly, I think...”, he answered.

“But since Botswana became independent, the English language has gotten more important. All secondary education is taught in English.”, Amy wondered loudly.

“Yes, I thought the same thing. I asked my host mother about it and my host grandmother had eight younger siblings. And as their father died, the oldest one had to go to work who was her apparently.”, Jacob explained.

“I see. Well, I can still show you how to make tampons if you want to.”, Amy offered.

Jacob turned out to be very smart and generous. He was very respectful and knew a lot about women's health and their cycle. He told Amy that maybe the language barrier caused some trouble before because this grandmother almost screamed at him once. He still didn't know what she thought he said but talking about traveling to Paris shouldn't have been a reason to get yelled at.

Amy and Jacob made some tampons together and after three hours he asked for her number since he just arrived one week ago. Amy offered to connect him to the worldwide chat with all the other exchange students and he seemed so thankful.  
  
“What is part of your exchange? What do you do here?”, Amy asked curiously.

“I hope to improve the English of their children. They aren't doing well in school since the education changed to a different language.”, Jacob explained.

“I hope you can help them.”, Amy smiled at him.

“Yeah, and when they are at school I help with cleaning, cooking and just anything there is to do. It is indeed very weird to actually do something for the household you live in in your free time. But I don't have much to do here.”

“As soon as you meet some people from the area, you will have plenty things to do. They are all awesome, most of them are from Europe and it's just wonderful to hear about different cultures.”, Amy said and got caught up by the thought of the others.

“That sounds really great!”

***

Amy and Jacob texted a lot and saw each other once in a while. The whole crew of volunteers would often meet up and just sit around talking to each other, maybe sipping some beers. At some point, Amy and Jacob would always coordinate if they would go together. Both of them liked the volunteers but the only real friendship they felt was with each other. The helping was the best experience ever but making a friend like Jacob really kept Amy going on during the hard days.

Jacob started his gap year three months after Amy because he wasn't sure what he wanted to major in at college. He always emphasized that taking a year off only occurred to him because he didn't know what to decide. Not deciding at all seemed to be the best idea then.

One night they met up with everyone in the 'worldwide chat' and even though it was still super warm outside they started a bonfire and listened to loud music. Jacob and Amy arrived a little late because Jacob had to help his host family longer than expected. He texted Amy that she should go without him and he would join everyone later but Amy insisted on waiting for him.

The little party was going well with little groups forming. One was dancing, one was just chilling next to the bonfire just talking. Amy and Jacob decided to bring beers since they were late and the response to the gift was overwhelming. Everyone was so thankful for the beer and eventually talked to them about it during the evening. The fact that some of them would help Amy for weeks or months with making tampons and teaching the women how to do it themselves while others just helped the families cook, clean, watching the kids or teaching them a different language was breathtaking.

A few minutes later, Matthew – a volunteer from the UK – rounded up everyone for a fun round of Never Have I ever.

“Since everyone has secrets, it's time to leak some of them and get drunk in the process.”, Matthew announced and raised his eyebrows repeatedly.

Jacob and Amy sat down next to each other with a fresh beer in their hands and listened carefully as everyone was trying to seek out the interesting facts about the others.

“Never have I ever done drugs”, someone said.

And Amy took a sip, just as most of the others did too. Jacob to her surprise didn't drink and she leaned over and told him that she didn't like it and it will probably remain a one time thing. He laughed a little and told her that he would like to try weed at some point in his life but the opportunity didn't come up yet.

“Guys!”, Laurie, a girl from Germany, shouted, “talking about drugs, I brought weed with me and I felt like I should wait for the perfect vibes to smoke.”

“Well, how about now?”, Amy whispered in Jacob's ear and smirked.

“Only if you try with me again.”, Jacob challenged.

Amy was scared. Not because of the fact that she might cry because of the dooming thought about her parents' dying but the because of the girl from Germany Laurie, who had been working with her a few weeks, reminded her of Ryan so badly that she couldn't keep it in her pants and developed a little crush on her. And by 'little', she actually means 'huge'. Amy didn't do anything about it. Just staring a little too long when Laurie wasn't looking or daydreaming about her.  
Molly always made fun of her when she had the chance to and told her she could at least try to talk to her.  
  
“The world is not going to end”, she used to say. But the courage wasn't on Amy's side and eventually Laura would fly back to Germany.

Amy didn't know whether she should try again. She felt like not thinking about her parents would be possible in this scenario but not embarrassing herself in front of Laurie felt unlikely.

“What is bothering you?”, Jacob whispered in her ear since she didn't answer him.

She was lucky enough, Laurie was sitting across from her, so out of earshot.

“I sort of have a thing for girls like Laurie”, Amy admitted to him.

Jacob told her that the crush shouldn't be a problem when it comes to smoking weed together.

“I can't believe you are making me do this.”, Amy said.

“It's your decision, really. This is your chance in doing drugs with me.”, Jacob pressured her playfully.

Most of the volunteers participated and Laurie decided to roll a few joints so hopefully everyone would get enough hits to be high. The joints were going around the circle and eventually crossed Amy's and Jacob's way.

As both of them took a hit, Amy felt the nicotine kick in instantly. Jacob and her just took a few hits and passed the joints to the next person.

“That feels intense.”, Jacob whispered and laughed a little.

Amy couldn't concentrate and just started into the bonfire thinking about the fact that she was on a different continent, in the middle of nowhere with strangers basically. And honestly, she couldn't care less.

“I kinda like it.”, Amy admitted to Jacob and smiled at him. “I really like the fire.”

“So do I. Reminds me of home.”, Jacob smiled back and both of them just stared into it in peace.

Jacob is actually from Canada living somewhere outside of Toronto. He is a dedicated scout and loves things like hiking and making marshmallows but his favorite activity will always be singing at the bonfire together. At times when he really misses camping he hears the songs they sing and can't help it but cry because of the happiness the songs brought him.

Right in this moment Amy felt like she was right where she belonged. She felt the joy and happiness increase in her body. She could finally understand why Jacob loved everything about being together around a fire. Amy couldn't believe she was helping women on a daily basis with an immediate response and hanging out with new people from different cultures and places. She doesn't know these people properly but she doesn't have to worry about stuff like that anymore. Knowing that you can't know someone by first impressions or four years of high school without real interaction made her realize that everyone has a great story.

***

Amy and Molly always texted about the time they would call each other. So when Molly was calling out of the blue, it had to be more important than anything. She walked outside and sat down on the front porch of her house.  
  


“Are you okay?”, Amy answered the phone worried.

“I don't know!”, Molly encountered. “I just know that I need you right now!”

“Why? What is happening?”, Amy asked more questions.

“I think I'm about to have sex with a guy”, Molly finally admitted.

“WHO?”, Amy blurted out loudly.

“Don't be disappointed! But it's Jared.”, Molly said quietly.

“Nooooo way!”, Amy couldn't believe it.

“I know it's really weird but when he doesn't try to become everyone's friend, he is actually funny and kinda smart?!”, Molly was still figuring out the situation herself.

“Well... do you feel ready?”, Amy said supportingly.

“I really want to. I think I actually like Jared?! I can't believe I'm saying this! Amy, am I going insane?!”, Molly was talking faster than ever.

“You're the smartest person I know and you sound pretty normal to me. I mean you liked Nick and... yeah, he was Nick.”, Amy reminded her to make her feel less insane.

“Is this my thing? Dumb dudes?”, Molly asked, really more herself than Amy.

“Don't be mean, neither of them is dumb. They just aren't as academically educated and smart as you are.”, Amy encountered.

“I love you, Amy.”, Molly just said and you could hear the smile on her face even with the ocean laying between the two best friends.

“You go girl! But use protection!”, Amy mothered her.

“I will call you tomorrow.”, Molly promised.

“You better!”, Amy laughed.

And just as Amy wanted to go back inside she saw the bright night sky. You could see every star and Amy felt like they were shining for her best friend right now. Suddenly she missed home more than ever. Missing out on Molly and Jared being a thing? Well, she clearly was still a part in Molly's story but not talking to her in person about this intimate moment made her sad. She sighed deeply.

“You okay?”, someone approached.

“Oh, it's you!”, Amy said as she saw Jacob sitting down next to her.

“Yeah, it's me. I saw you as I just finished my night jog.”, he told her.

“You jog at night? Why?”, Amy asked confused.

“I prefer it that way. It's cool outside, I'm all alone and I get to admire the stars.”, Jacob explained. “But why are you out here?”

“Molly called.”, Amy answered simply.

“Is everything alright with her?”, Jacob asked kindly.

“She is fine, more even.”

“Why the sad expression on your face then?”

“I miss home.”, Amy admitted and teared up a little.

“Me too.”

While they stayed out a little longer talking about their homes, Amy knew that she never met a person like Jacob. He listens carefully and tries to see your side of the story from his own and your eyes.

“Have you decided what you want to do after you get back?”, Amy asked curiously.

He said that he had finally decided. Jacob was sure his future awaits for him in Toronto majoring in journalism because – if he was being honest with himself – he always loved his country but he always wanted to live in the city. Toronto seemed to be his favorite choice even though he had never been there.

“Thank you”, he added after being quiet for a few seconds.

Amy had to look confused – which she was – but Jacob told her that hearing her stories from high school made him realize that learning and seeing something new can be really fun and marvelous.

“I actually miss studying in the library.”, Amy admitted and laughed about herself.

“You are such a academic weirdo.”, Jacob joked.  
  
  
***  
  


As her flight back home flew over the ocean, she already missed him. He really was the hardest goodbye – harder than Molly and her parents if she was being honest – because she might never see him again. Trying to keep that thought aside, Amy laid back in her seat and listened to some music trying to sleep – it was going to be a long flight.

Three hours before the plane would arrive in Los Angeles, she scrolled through her contacts and saw Hope's name scroll by. Would it be a terrible idea to text her now because she is being back?

Amy wasn't so sure and tried to think about some encouraging speech Molly would give her in this moment: “Amy, you deserve the world. Honestly, you fucked her butthole and she gave you her number which was clearly a 'I wanna do that again sometime'. Be the brave human being I see in you. Who decided to go to prison for some high schoolers she barely knew, who dances in public without music and couldn't be more smart and outstanding”. Amy felt her confidence rising and finally texted Hope.

**Amy:** _Hey Hope, it's Amy. I'm coming back from Botswana today._

Amy immediately thought the text was way to formal and kind of suggested that she wanted to see Hope even though she didn't even know how or where she is. So she added:

**Amy:** _How are you doing and where are you?_

After sending the message, she felt like Hope will probably think she couldn't keep it in her pants. Which wouldn't be true.


	2. Your name hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope sits at the beach and thinks about the past year, some of her memories and adventures... just as she gets two notifications.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> I know I said I would upload on the weekend. But the chapter was done and has been proofread - thanks to Flukeworm :)
> 
> I hope you enjoy it, maybe leave a comment if you did!

**Chapter Two**

This was her last stop. Hope ended her travels at a beach in Portugal. The sun was setting over the Atlantic which she will soon see from above. She knew that flying back would bring back all the responsibilities and the _real life_ she had been avoiding for over a year now. College, finding a job maybe, being told where to go and what to do, with deadlines, Hope could only roll her eyes at the thought of it. Maybe she wasn't ready to fly back home but the flight was already booked and the opportunity of majoring in English and photography wouldn't wait for her. She wished the world would just stop and she could stay right at this beach for a few more days.

Hope's plan ultimately was to work her way through Europe, then Asia and afterwards Africa. But Europe took way more time than she expected so she decided to skip Asia and to head to Africa instead. What she didn't know before of course was that Hope would meet someone seemingly incredible who would turn out to be total jerk. It was this girl from Spain who spent her holidays in Morocco and as both of them walked through an old market with exotic fruits and carpets, they would get into talking. Hope felt an instant vibe coming from her and as Maria offered Hope to sleep over at her hotel, she knew what was happening.

Hope wouldn't call it 'dating' but they were kind of together for like one week maybe? She wasn't so sure but as soon as Maria's stay in Morocco was over, she asked Hope if she wanted to fly back to Spain with her. And in the moment she had a really good feeling which turned out to be VERY wrong.

Maria was incredible but as soon as she was back home, she kind of changed. She wasn't as interested or affectionate anymore and wouldn't even let Hope stay with her at her apartment. Which she couldn't understand really since she was living alone in Seville. Turned out, Maria actually was almost married and tried to trick her fiancee into leaving her. Which sounded evil and manipulative, even for Hope's standards. She really didn't want to be any part in ruining someone's relationship so she took off.

Fortunately, she met some Americans from Detroit at the airport who were renting a car so they could drive to Portugal, specifically a city called Porto that was located at the beach. They invited her and she tagged along, being mostly quiet on the ride.

And as she was deep in thought, watching the waves covering the sand in front of her, her phone vibrated... twice.

An unknown number, which turned out to be Amy's by reading the notifications, sent her two texts. But Hope wouldn't even bother to open and answer after Amy ghosted her for a whole year. What was Amy even thinking texting her now? Hope felt like Amy should apologize to her for... well, not texting. She realized this was pissing her off way more than she thought. Why now, Amy? Only because you are flying back from Botswana?

Although she had to admit her heart was beating a little faster as she read the notification over and over again, thinking about Amy made her feel sick, but in a good and exciting way.

The mixture of emotions was making her crazy though. So she put her phone back into her pocket and just continued gazing at the beautiful sunset.

***

Traveling the world was amazing. Hope loved every single city, every country. She saw so much in so little time and in her vintage self, she took a Polaroid whenever she could. If she was being honest, the box with all the photos was getting heavier and heavier which might have been considered before.

Backpacking wasn't the easiest way to travel. Flying to different parts of the US with her family didn't make her back feel like she was carrying rocks along with her. She knew at some points this was going to be tough, but worth it after all.

Hope visited so many places and really felt like she was becoming a different version of herself, more like the traveling spirit she always wanted to be. Open-minded and happy about the little things. Feeling alive, really. No college life could compete with seeing Venice or Paris from up close. Photos and dreaming about it are great but nothing compared to taking pictures yourself.

Traveling couldn't have been more vivid but often life would hit her in the face. Hope knew she had limited money and time. Having food and a safe place to stay while being in the cities made sure her wallet was suffering and all the traveling, like flights and train tickets, weren't cheap either. So she usually had to plan differently, so her Dad wouldn't kill her. Even though she really tried not to, she ran out of money multiple times. Not many people had a couch to crash on for free in Europe or Africa, so she had to ask her Dad to send her money and she really disliked asking him for like... anything. She could imagine the look on his face so perfectly whenever she called asking for money. He would always make a scene and act like she wasted all her money on meaningless things. But in the end, he always gave her money anyways. The lesson he tried to teach her would kind of always get ruined by him just doing what she asked for. Which wasn't really her problem though.

***

Hope made some funny and beautiful memories in the different countries. She met various people who were really nice to her, and some who really changed the way she looked at things.

Her biggest association about Italy must have been this girl, her name was Sofia. Hope just walked through the Tuscany in Northern Italy and saw this little castle down the street. The photographer in her made her walk faster to take a closer look.

The sun was setting behind it and the little castle was just glowing in beautiful colors.

The moment she stepped inside the front yard, a voice asked her something in probably Italian. Shocked, she looked around and saw a dark-haired girl.

Hope knew only one statement in Italian and she had used it a lot since she arrived in Florence which was “Scusa, non parlo italiano” which she just blurted out nervously.

The girl laughed shyly: “I like your accent. I'm sorry I scared you.”

Hope must have looked really irritated because the dark-haired girl asked: “Are you okay?”

“ You scared me.”, she said and realized her heart was beating faster than ever. She sighed loudly.

“ My name is Sofia.”, the girl said. “I really didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to know if you needed any help?”

“ Well, I do need a lot of help but that was not the reason I came here.”

“ I hope, you didn't came to break in and rob my home. I have seen your face, so it wouldn't be the smartest plan now.”, Sofia joked with a huge grin on her face.

“ Did you say, this is your house?”, Hope asked, ignoring Sofia's joke accidentally.

“ Yes.”, Sofia said. “Why?”

“ Can I take some pictures? I think your house is beautiful.”, Hope asked.

“ Sure. Are you a good photographer?”, she encountered.

“ You can see some of my pictures... if you want.”, Hope offered.

Hope hasn't really shown her Polaroids to anyone. Not because she is ashamed or because their too private – well maybe some. Cause not everyone asks to see any. She never cared why people didn't ask but she was always lucky to show if they were interested. Talking about her photographs and why she took them had the same effect on Hope as photographing itself did. She just loved it and could do it for hours. Made her feel a little lost sometimes, drowning in enjoyment.

This girl, Sofia, she was a complete stranger but Hope really wanted to photograph this beautiful house in the middle of nowhere. She knew there probably wasn't a threatening law that prohibited her from photographing a property but it still felt better if the owners are informed and fine with it.

“ Show me inside”, Sofia said smiling.

“ I'm Hope, by the way.”, Hope said and followed Sofia inside.

Sofia opened the front door and the house felt even bigger on the inside. They were standing in an entrance hall with two staircases leading upstairs. Hope felt like this was the first time she walked into the house of a huge celebrity. The walls were covered in colorful mosaics and through the windows on the back she could see the backyard which had a pool and a beautiful old willow standing in the middle of it.

She lived in LA, so she had seen many mansions but she never really went into one.

“ Wow, your house is huge...”, Hope gazed and looked up to see the chandelier.

“ My mother earns a lot of money. We got lucky.”, she smiled genuinely.

Hope looked at Sofia and was really impressed by the pure kindness. Sofia was just gorgeous, she would treat a stranger like others would a friend or family member. Without any doubt, she offered Hope help and immediately gave her the okay to photograph. She even trusted her enough to let her in and seemed grateful for having a house like this one.

“ I got lucky by finding your house.”, Hope joked a little.

Hope followed Sofia into the living room where Sofia sat down on the big leather couch. Hope put down her blue backpack for the first time today and the weight falling from her shoulders felt great. She unzipped it, looked inside of it and took out the box full of Polaroids. Hope simply handed it to Sofia.

As Sofia looked through the photos, Hope tried to read her emotions. Sofia smiled at some and gazed at some. Hope wasn't really sure what she thought about any of them.

“ They are lovely, Hope.”, Sofia smiled.

“ So it's okay if I take some pictures now?”, Hope asked.

“ Are you in a hurry?”, Sofia chuckled.

She wasn't really panicking but the autumn sunset was slowly coming to an end. And just maybe, she would never see the warm colors around this little castle ever again so yeah... Hope was kind of in hurry for the golden shot.

“ It's suppose to be a sunset shoot so kind of.”, she answered and smirked a little.

“ Go ahead then.”

Hope went outside of the big house again and walked back to the street in front of it. She got a little lost and shook her head, she couldn't believe how stunning the little castle in the middle of nowhere was. The trees, some yellow and red announcing the next chapter of this year, completed the view as the sky was turning pink. First she needed to photograph the whole castle with the sunset in the background. Around it were only wide fields of color. Some still green, some already turning yellow or red, just like the trees.

This must have been the golden shot, Hope thought to herself and looked at the Polaroid as it was printed out by her camera. She did take some pictures with her digital camera but she always preferred the Polaroids. Nothing could compare with getting an immediate result which was just infinite.

Hope took some more pictures of the architecture of the house and tried to capture its spirit and the vibe she was getting just by looking at it. Which wasn't the easiest challenge to accomplish.

Sofia walked down the stairs leading to the front yard where Hope was standing.

“ I just talked to my parents. We are happy to invite you to stay the night.”, Sofia offered sincerely.

“ I have a tent, it's really no big deal.”, Hope declined.

“ I saw that and that's why I'm offering you to stay over. We have like three guestrooms and... all of them have showers.”, Sofia argued.

“ A shower sounds really good.”, Hope admitted.

“ Just come back inside when you are done. I can show you the bedroom.”

Hope took a few more pictures. But as soon as the sun was gone, the beautiful colors she wanted to capture were gone too. Even though the house looked wonderful at night as well, Hope didn't really feel the vibe of it. Plus, she had been walking all day so her feet were starting to hurt.

She headed back inside and went for the living room where Sofia was watching a movie in Italian. Hope cleared her throat and made Sofia turn around to see her. After walking over to Hope, she lead her up the stairs and down a small corridor. There were like four doors on each side and everything just looked fancy and pretty expensive. Sofia opened one of the doors on the right and stepped inside a bedroom with a king-sized bed in the middle of it. The room had big windows with dark red curtains in front of it, matching the huge carpet which was covering the ground. The soft light lightened the dark room before Sofia turned on the chandelier which was hanging from the ceiling.

“ Are your parents really okay if I just stay over?”, Hope asked to be sure.

“ Yeah, it's totally fine. Really, I talked to them on the phone.”

“ They aren't even here?!”, Hope encountered.

“ No, they are on a business trip in Rome.”, Sofia answered.

“ So... you are all alone?”

“ I'm used to it.”, Sofia shrugged.

“ I think I would go insane in this huge house being all by myself.”, Hope commented.

“ I have to take care of the garden, the house and me. I keep myself busy.”, Sofia smiled.

Hope sat down her backpack next to the bed and sat down for a moment. She really missed sleeping in a regular bed but this was way above average. This was something Annabelle's family would have because honestly, they are the richest people Hope knew personally. Well... Annabelle also had like five siblings, so maybe that's why their house was salient.

“ I'm going to let you take a shower now. Bathroom is across the floor. Feel free to take as long as you want.”, Sofia said genuinely, interrupting Hope's thoughts, “We will be eating when you are ready.”

Hope wanted to say something against the offer but Sofia quickly walked out the door without giving her a chance to refuse.

***

After dinner which Sofia cooked all on her own, they decided to just chill in Hope's room listening to some music. They got to know each other a little better and laughed about their stories.

“ Who is it?”, Sofia asked out of the blue, music playing in the background.

“ Hm?”, Hope thought she didn't hear correctly.

“ Who is the person you're waiting for?”, Sofia asked again, clearly asking the same question.

“ What? How...?”, Hope was so confused.

“ Well, either my gaydar got really bad or you weren't picking up on all the flirting I have been doing, so there has to be somebody else.”

Hope felt hella impressed. Sofia just knew that she was queer. And she had been flirting with her the whole time? She did invite a stranger just into her house, to stay the night and offered her food and a warm shower, but Hope thought she was just a generous and decent human being. She never thought about the fact that all the kind and warming smiles have been meant as flirtation.

“ So...I guess, there is a special someone?”, Sofia inquired when Hope was silent for a few a seconds.

“ There is someone but it was only this one time and it seems like this certain someone wants to keep it that way.”

Hope had given her number to Amy four month ago. She didn't text her once and Hope was convinced, Amy probably won't start a conversation soon. It hurt her a little, just thinking about the smaller freckled girl. Was Amy not thinking about Hope at all?

“ Look... this someone is really lucky to have someone as beautiful as you thinking about them.”, Sofia said and bit her lips, looking up and down Hope's body.

“ Have you really been flirting with me the whole time?”, Hope asked curiously. She finally saw the flirtation Sofia has been doing but she needed to be sure.

“ Yes, I have”, Sofia smiled proudly and scooched over a litte closer to Hope.

Hope just watched as Sofia was slowly moving over. She was almost as tall as Hope and to be fair, she was more than pretty. Hope had noticed something about her the second she laid eyes on her but was so focused on capturing the golden shot of the little castle that she lost track of the young kind woman. And as Hope really took a deeper look at Sofia, she realized the Italian girl had dark-brown eyes and her tanned skin glowed in contrast to the light-yellow dress she was wearing. Hope had to admit that she found Sofia highly attractive.

But the thought of Amy kept on popping up in her mind. Why was this bothering her now? Amy didn't even text her and she couldn't stop thinking of her now that another girl showed interest? What kind of fucked up thinking was that?

Sofia could sense the conflict going on inside of Hope's thoughts. The Italian girl saw the girl's arousal but felt the constancy of the special someone. She wanted to make sure Hope understood what could happen next.

“ Look, Hope... You live in America, far far away from here. I live in Italy, far away from your home. I don't want a relationship or for this to mean anything. But I'm offering a little fun for the both of us.”, Sofia explained directly.

After a little more talking and some small smiles and touches, she was convincing enough that Hope didn't just stay the night.

***

Hope also remembered clearly how she met this sweet group of friends in Amsterdam who turned out to be the funniest people on her journey.

She arrived late in the evening which meant just setting up the tent and sleeping bag and falling asleep almost instantly. But after sleeping in which she hadn't done in a while, climbing out of the small tent and stretching felt incredible.  


She climbed out of her little green tent, yawned and strechted but all of the sudden, someone bumped into her and dropped a lot. The person behind her babbled something in another language, maybe Dutch?

“ I'm sorry, but I didn't understand a word.”, Hope turned around and laughed lightly.

“ Oh!”, the blonde girl exclaimed, “I'm sorry for bumping into you. I was lost in thought.”

“ It's totally okay.”, Hope reassured her and knelt down to pick up the things the girl had dropped. The girl joined her and thanked her afterwards.

“ I like your tent.”, she commented after both got up again, “I'm Coco.”

“ I'm Hope and yeah... the tent is very small, not as comfortable as I thought.”, she answered.

“ So... you're traveling alone?”, Coco asked curiously.

“ Yes, actually I'm from Los Angeles.”, Hope stated and nodded lightly.

“That's far away!  Well... if you want to, you could eat breakfast with us.”, the smaller blonde offered friendly.

“ That sounds nice.”

Of course she asked her to eat with them, it's just how it works in this city. At least that's what Hope heard about it. She followed Coco to a picnic table in the middle of the camping site they were staying at which was covered with breakfast articles. Another similar looking blonde girl, taller than Coco but smaller than Hope, already sat at the table and looked concentrated while rolling a joint – what a morning, Hope couldn't believe it.

“ Laura, this is Hope from Los Angeles!”, Coco told the other girl, “Hope, this is Laura, my sister.”

The similarities were definitely screaming sisters. Even though Coco was clearly older, they looked alike so much, they could have been twins easily.

Coco sat down across from her sister and Hope took the free spot next to her. They gave her a plate and some dark bread.

“ We are from Germany, so we had to bring our own dark bread.”, Laura explained as she licked the paper of the joint she was rolling.

Coco started eating and Laura lit the joint just seconds after. The two blond girls were quite the crackheads, if you asked Hope. In a funny way, though. They had been smoking weed for three years now and you could tell, they definitely planned on smoking the whole day. They were eating but said that only in Amsterdam, the breakfast was served with a green supplement.

“ You know, Laura just turned 18.”, Coco said while her eyes were like half closed.

“ We are just celebrating because we have been smoking since three years and now after all this passing time, I can finally buy myself weed.”, Laura explained and passed the joint back to Hope.

They told Hope they sometimes fought about Laura smoking too much because Coco was already 18 and starting to be a more mature adult. She wanted Laura to be careful but they kept on smoking together which seemed to be okay. Hope loved the irony in both of them and just got along with their vibes. They planned on visiting the Van Gogh museum that day and Hope always had a thing for his painting and life story. Immediately they invited her to tag along but had to get the okay of their other friends, Hannah and Mathias. Hope felt like maybe this was her best chance of not wandering through the city on her own.

A girl approached them, said something in a different language – probably German – and gasped at the redness of their eyes.

“ Oh, hey Hannah.”, Laura said and laughed silly.

Coco introduced Hope, clearly being not as high as Laura who couldn't stop smiling. Hannah was Coco's roommate and all of them were really good friends. A red-haired guy, Hannah's boyfriend, joined them a little after with wet hair. He yawned deeply and Laura passed him the second joint of the day as soon as he sat down next to her.

He looked at Hope and asked something in German.

“ This is Hope. She is from Los Angeles.”, Coco told him, explaining the situation.

“ Oh! Hey, I'm Mathias. Nice to meet you.”, the boyfriend said, took a hit and passed Hope the joint.

“ Hasn't weed been legalized in Los Angeles for a few years now?”, Hannah asked Hope.

“ Yeah, it has been for medical reasons a long time ago but 2016, they legalized it completely... well, for adults only of course.”, Hope recaptured the decisions of her government.

“ So... this is still the first legal weed you're smoking?”, Hannah laughed and passed the joint to Coco.

“ Pretty much. I just turned 18, like Laura.”, she answered and pointed to the smiling blonde.

“ Laura, you are such a mess.”, Coco said and threw a tissue at her playfully.

After the breakfast, which took ages, everyone was really high. Hannah and Mathias whispered to each other while they were heading to the museum and Laura, Coco and Hope told each other funny weed stories.

“ You know, this one time we tried to create an awesome sticker so we could rub it into other people's faces and of course, just before that we ate pot brownies.”, Laura started telling the story. 

“Coco hates chocolate by the way”, she added and Coco nodded with a expression of pain on her face.

“ So... just like 40 minutes later, we tried to talk about the depth of the black which should be in the background and Laura said it should be as dark as if your great-grandparents used to be black but all their children and grandchildren married white people and you're the third generation after them. I did understand, surprisingly, and after like ten minutes of trying to select the perfect color I realized, instead of black, I had picked violet.”, Coco said and slapped her face. All of them laughed in unison.

“ This one time I ate a pot brownie and badly felt like Shar-Peis, the dogs full of wrinkles, looked like sad pigs. I couldn't keep it in my pants and laughed uncontrollably for like twenty minutes.”, Hope told them and they were probably entertaining the whole train.

They told each other the funniest stories and Hope loved the both of them. They were so honest and funny, with her and each other. It felt like their bond was the strongest she had ever seen. It seemed genuinely supporting and uplifting.

“ We need to exit at the next stop, if we want to go to the coffee shop”, Hannah said.

On the way, they wanted to stop at a coffee shop – it had to be the best according to them which was actually just recording to Google results. The city was marvelous, all the beautiful buildings and canals. Hope held onto her digital camera and took some pictures with it. The little houseboats and all the bikes made Hope think the city made everyone find a little distance and peace somehow. Hannah and Laura were interested about her photography and as all of them walked over to the coffee shop, Hope showed them some of the other places she had seen so far. Laura just gasped at single one of them and almost ran into a lantern if Hannah didn't warn her.

Finally there, everyone showed their IDs at the entrance and walked into this dark bar which was filled with people smoking weed. The smoke was visible under the lamps, inside the wooden shelves Hope could see boxes full of the green plant waiting to be sold to the people standing in front of the bar.

“ Hope, do you want to buy weed as well?”, Laura asked geniunely.

Hope didn't really have the money for buying anything lately but she didn't came to Amsterdam so she wouldn't buy weed legally for the first time.

“ Can you recommend me something?”, she asked back.

“ Well... you should definitely decide whether you want it to be sativa or indica.”, Coco intervened.

“ I really liked the weed we were smoking during breakfast.”, she said, not knowing the difference.

“ Great! That was sativa. It makes you really high like more creative, giving you uplifting energy.”, Coco explained to her.

Hope looked over the menu and saw this sativa called 'Utopia Haze' which wasn't the cheapest but looked and smelled really good as the 'bartender' showed her an example.

She bought an ounce and waited outside for the four friends because they couldn't figure out what they wanted and the thin air was just too much for her lungs.

She sat down on a bench down the street. She put her bag in her lap and put everything she needed to roll a joint on top of it. She tried to be careful but her hands were slippery. She never rolled a joint with people walking by which still seemed weird to her. As she was starting to roll to press the tobacco and weed together, a young guy sat down next to her looking at his phone.

“ Hey, excuse me... do you know this coffee shop?”, he said and showed her a picture on his smartphone.

“ I'm so sorry, I'm not from here.”

The guy sighed: “Yeah, me neither. Just moved here and some of my friends told me to go there but honestly, I can't find it.”

“ That is weird. Have you tried Google Maps?”, Hope joked.

“ Haha! Very funny!”, he said, playing pissed. “I keeps on messing up the directions.”

“ Too bad. I'm Hope by the way.”, she introduced herself.

“ My name is Michael.”

They talked a little bit until Laura came up to them. She said that the others would need a little longer because Coco desperately needed to pee and Hannah and Mathias didn't even buy anything yet.

Michael said that he just moved here two month ago and he still couldn't figure out where to go. Laura said they went to the Amsterdam Dungeon yesterday and were so confused with all the subways they had to take. Michael immediately told her that he worked at the Dungeon for the first month he lived here because he needed to spare some time before working for a magazine.

“ So you're a journalist?”, Laura asked interested.

“ No! I'm a photographer.”, Michael answered.

“ So is Hope!”

Michael showed both of them some articles he took the photos for. He told them that his real passion would be to photograph people, not models in particular but just different people doing their everyday activities. Just reality, as he pointed it out. He seemed really passionate about it and actually grateful for being able to photograph at his work.

Hope took out her camera and showed Laura and Michael some pictures of the other countries she had been to. Her favorite so far were Greece and Norway. Seeing and taking pictures of the Northern light with a bonfire by her side was the most amazing experience. It was one of her little goals for this adventure.

***

On all the adventures, she lived, she always asked herself: “Wouldn't life be lame without the risk?” 

Hope knew, she didn't like having doubts and homesickness but she couldn't regret the trying. She decided to just go to be and live on her own, without a roof over her head or any commitments. No one telling her where to go or at what time. She wanted to see a lot and she really tried to see a lot, even though she had a few adventures that weren't that great. She had the courage to take a risk and really... it worked out pretty awesome. Even the bad days are good stories if you really think about it. Maybe life sometimes really needs to be about failing but taking the big risk anyway.

Maybe Amy failed to text or call right away but at least she was taking the risk of saying something now, Hope thought as she read the notification again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry there hasn't been any interaction AGAIN but there will be in the next chapter, I promise.
> 
> I will try to finish the chapter asap!! Hopefully it will be done by this or next weekend but I don't know yet...  
> I have this internship for university at the moment which takes like SO MUCH time :/
> 
> And by the way, I'm actually Coco, like my sister is called Laura and my roommate is Hannah. And we have been to Amsterdam and well... the meeting Hope part isn't true (I WISH) but well some of it was real and I thought why not put it in? :D
> 
> Spread love and stay safe during this diffucult times :)


	3. the first of twelve steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer went by quickly and Amy will be starting college but can't stop thinking about a particular girl...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun reading this new chapter! Let me know if you liked it! :)
> 
> Follow me on tumblr (alisonisuniverse) and let me know what you liked or if you have suggestions.

**Chapter Three**

Staying home during the holidays before college started turned out to be quite fun. Molly just wanted to spend all the time with her best friend who just got back from her gap year in Africa. They had movie nights and structural debates over the summer but Molly studied a lot in her free time and Amy just tagged along doing some preparatory work for college. Alone with Molly in the library at UCLA, Amy felt like nothing had really changed. Which was a good distraction from the fact that Hope had been avoiding her. No texts or calls over the whole summer. Amy probably blew it and should have just texted her earlier. With each and every day Amy was more convinced Hope had found someone else... or would never come back from her travels, finding peace somewhere far away from home.

The weirdest thing was that Amy had the feeling, Molly had been hiding something about this whole story. After both of them were invited to parties where they met Annabelle, Nick and Tanner, Amy never asked Annabelle or one of the guys whether they knew if Hope would come back as well but Molly avoided the topic of the cool girl too. Amy knew Annabelle and Hope were friends somehow and Molly's and Annabelle's companionship went deeper than Amy had expected from her impression she made over the phone, so if Annabelle knew something, there was a slight possibility Molly might as well.

Besides the fact that she couldn't keep the taller girl out of her head, Ryan had to be at the parties too and Amy and her talked about Botswana and the first year of college a lot. Apparently, Nick and Ryan are fine with having an on-off-thing because they live in different states. Amy had to admit to herself that talking to your high school crush about their newest relationship status isn't as painful as it sounds. It's actually worse.

As soon as Amy had the chance, she changed the topic and eventually bailed out of the conversation thanks to Molly.

The high school president vanished throughout the evening and one could clearly tell, Molly had been drinking a lot – being more drunk than Amy thought she ever let herself be. Even though Molly said she was monitoring the situation, she almost passed out in Amy's arms for a second before telling Amy the both of them had to go the bathroom.

The law school student just sat down next to the bathtub and as soon as Amy wanted to join her, Molly threw up and covered half of it in vomit. Amy held her hair back and told her that the monitoring may have been biased at some point.

“Honestly Amy, you can say anything you want right now... because you are probably right.”, Molly slurred.

“It's really good you are throwing up right now. But stop drinking for tonight.”, Amy suggested.

“I'm a college girl, I can handle the hangover.”, Molly said and threw up again after.

Amy washed all the puke away and finally sat down next to Molly leaning against the wall.

“I know, vomiting in bathrooms at parties is kinda your thing with Hope”, Molly joked.

“Apparently, we don't have any thing.”, Amy sighed, not picking up on the joke and reminded herself that she probably fucked it up. Why didn't she text Hope? She couldn't even come up with an answer now but ultimately, she would guess it's just insecurities which she shouldn't be having.

After her plane arrived, weeks went by without Hope making any move. Amy was kind of worrying Hope might not be fine. What if the beautiful brunette would never come back? And what if Amy was somehow the reason for that? Just some news about her going to college or some picture, on Instagram even, of her travels.

Right, Amy had been following every story and upload Hope had made since she came back. Hope usually posted every once in a while but since Amy sent her the text, she just disappeared. Coincidence? Obviously not.

“Still no word, huh?”, Molly asked and took Amy's hand to comfort her.

Amy stayed silent and gave Molly a little sad smile before looking to the ground.

“It's her loss, really.”, Molly said quietly. “You made your move and now she doesn't respond.”

“I made my move a whole fucking year too late. She probably has the greatest relationship with some Scandinavian girl who she met on her travels.”, Amy blurted out.

“You always meet twice in life, Amy Antsler. You just have to wait for it.”, Molly assured her.

***

Summer went by quickly. Most of the time she spent at home or with Molly which was more than cool with Amy. Parties were totally fine and fun most of the time but not really her thing. She wasn't extroverted enough to obsessively party every night like Tanner and Nick did. And after declining way too much invitations to any kind of excuse to drink booze and smoke some marijuana, she was happy to finally go to college.

Amy flew over with Molly and her parents to New Haven because the flight was cheaper and the drive to Columbia is only two hours. Actually Molly said they should spend as much time as possible together before both of them would kick ass at different colleges.

“You know, we will probably study together all the time?”, Amy reminded her best friend several times.

Molly didn't comment back which was unusual. She helped Molly unpack her things and move into her old dorm room across form Annabelle's.

“Oh, hey Amy!”, Annabelle said, carrying a box to her bed.

“Hey Annabelle... wait, you live across the hall?!”, Amy greeted her.

“Oh, so Miss Justice spared some details, I see”, Annabelle laughed.

“I never mentioned it?”, Molly said with clear doubts on her face.

“Are you staying the night?”, Annabelle asked and for Amy it seemed out of the blue.

“No, she isn't.”, Molly was pouting.

“Do you like have a minute?”, Annabelle asked, clearly meaning only Amy.

She exchanged a look with Molly who didn't seem to know what was going on. A little nod made Amy walk over to the blonde girl's dorm room which was almost completely set up.

“So... what did you want to talk about?”, Amy asked and raised her eyebrows.

“Look, Hope is a dumbass just like you were one. Molly told me, she didn't text you back – which maybe... I shouldn't have told you. Anyway, Hope will answer you. Trust me, really...”, Annabelle said.

“How are you so sure? She hasn't answered in weeks now.”

“I've never seen her smile. But when she told me you kissed, she couldn't keep it in her pants anymore”, Annabelle assured Amy.

***

**Amy** : _Are you there????_

**Amy:** _Answer asap!!_

Amy knew, Jacob wouldn't answer right away because he was probably still on the plane but she would really appreciate his opinion on this topic. Molly had an opinion – of course – but Amy could sense that it was clearly over-interpreted.

“So, I think your stuff is all here and most of it is in place.”, Amy changed the subject, as she finished her last text to Jacob.

“Does this mean goodbye again?”, Molly asked sadly.

“I have a better connection now and whenever we have the chance, one of us can just drive the two hours so we can see each other.”, Amy smiled.

Even though she loved Molly like no one else in the world, it was almost 9pm and the two hour drive wouldn't get any shorter. Amy still had to at least carry her stuff inside her own dorm room which she first had to be assigned to.

“I know but don't you dare forget about me when all the girls are lining up to eat you out?”, Molly said and Amy had a good feeling what Molly was going to say next.

“Watch out, don't misjudge all the holes down there.”, Molly laughed and Amy felt vindicated.

“I love you but please stop bringing this up.”, Amy begged Molly for the millionth time.

“Amy, you allowed me to bring it up once a day.”, Molly reminded her.

“I really don't want to think about Hope, so can you stop?”, Amy revealed the real reason this was pissing her off.

“Come on, I will bring you to the cab and say goodbye to your parents.”, Molly changed the subject, clearly being okay with not talking about Hope.

Everyone said their goodbyes and the two best friends promised each other to text the next day about what lectures and social activities they should attend.

Amy's parents told the cab driver to drive to the nearest place where they could rent a car so they could drive to New York. Amy's mother and father agreed with each other that Amy didn't need to drive because she wasn't really used to long drives.

Amy looked at her chat with Hope as soon as the car ride started and noticed that the messages she sent her on her flight back to Los Angeles had finally been read. But Hope didn't respond. What does this mean? Was Hope back in the US and that's why she had finally read the messages? Or had she just been avoiding the texts?

Amy sighed and looked out the window trying not to think about the taller girl.

“Are you okay, honey?”, her Dad asked and looked at her through the rear-view mirror.

“Yeah, it has just been quite the stressing day.”, she answered vaguely.

“Aren't you excited though?”, her mother asked smilingly.

“At the moment, I'm really tired.”

Her parents were talking about how proud they are of her brilliant mind and how they couldn't believe that the summer was already over again. Amy loved them so much but she wasn't really in the mood for talking about how great she is, when clearly she couldn't stop thinking about Hope reading her messages.

It was too late anyway, because either both of them would go to different colleges now or Hope never came back to the United States. Both would mean Amy wouldn't see Hope for a very long time, maybe never again. But she admitted to herself that she felt a little lost. Why was this bothering her so much anyway? They only made out and had the weirdest experience the night before graduation. It's not like they were friends or cool with each other before that, right?

As Amy closed her eyes, trying to make the world stop for a moment, her phone vibrated.

**Jacob** : _Just saw your text, what happened?_

**Amy** : _Oh thank god!_

**Amy:** _Annabelle told me the only reason Hope ever smiled was because of me..._

**Jacob:** _And that's a problem?_

**Amy:** _I think I fucked it up_

**Jacob:** _Hope will answer you. Maybe she just needs her time to answer. You changed last year, maybe she did too._

**Jacob:** _It will be fine or it wasn't meant to be, you can't do anything about the situation right now. It's for her to decide what happens next._

**Amy:** _I know... I hope she texts back faster than I do_

Amy moved into her dorm room that night and around midnight, she fell asleep immediately. She was happy the day was finally coming to an end. The feeling of a deadline for her relationship with Hope had been on her chest the whole day. College was starting the next day which would mean the tall cool girl probably lost interest, in whatever way.

***

A few days later everyone had settled in and Molly and Amy had been talking over the phone every evening. She even called Jacob a couple of times but both of them had limited time available. Amy had already been studying like crazy because she really missed gaining new knowledge. Don't understand her wrong she loved Botswana but at some point she knew how to make tampons and to interact with everyone. There wasn't anything new to learn. And the next library was over one hour away. So she missed using her smart mind from time to time. 

The problem about the first classes definitely was that Amy had been studying over the summer with Molly a lot. So, she already knew enough to not go to her classes for the first two weeks. Of course, she attended most of them anyway.

It wasn't supposed to be like that but the studying in the library wasn't as fun without her best friend. So it was about damn time to meet with some of her new classmates. With around three hundred students, the variety was big. Amy sat next to some people who were quite nice but didn't really seem to have any interest in connecting with her.

This one blonde girl, Kayla, gave Amy her number after they talked about the Women's March in class. They ran into each other in the hallway once because they live on the same floor. That's why Kayla's face seemed more familiar than the others. Kayla was a little taller than Amy – which wasn't that uncommon – and always wore this brown leather jacket in class.

The first four days of college were over and Amy didn't want to head back to the library alone so she just walked over to see if Kayla was in her room.

Amy knocked at her door and heared Kayla's voice say: “Who is it?”

“It's Amy... from social class.”

“Come in!”

Amy opened the door slowly and saw Kayla was sitting at her desk, probably studying.

“Am I interrupting? You too busy?”, Amy asked nervously, still standing in the door frame.

“Oh Amy, no... please give me a reason to stop reading this boring crap.”, the blonde said, facing Amy. A smile appeared on her face.

“I actually wanted to ask if you want to hang out a little?”, Amy told Kayla whose face showed relief.

Kayla shut down her notebook, walked over to her bed and signaled Amy to sit next to her.

“Honestly, thanks for stepping by. I have been studying all day and I feel like my brain stopped working like half an hour ago.”, Kayla thanked the freckled girl.

“Why didn't you just stop?”, Amy asked confused.

“It's still the first week, I have to keep the motivation up as long as I can!”, she explained.

“I like the spirit”, Amy laughed a little.

After getting coffee, Kayla and Amy decided to step outside and find a nice place to sit on campus. It was starting to get colder in New York but it was still early fall weather. Some leaves already turned yellow announcing the coming time of the year. The sun was shining brightly and the few clouds covering the sky didn't really bother.

“Are you hungry?”, Kayla asked as they walked by a small hot dog booth.

“Sure.”, Amy smiled, getting in line next to Kayla.

As both of them put ketchup on their hot dogs, Kayla said she wanted to know more about Amy.

“Well... what do you want to know?”, Amy questioned, eating a bite of her hot dog.

“Why do you major in social work?”, Kayla asked interested.

“I really enjoyed my gap year, helping women. I really want to make a difference in people's life, so social work was my choice.”, Amy answered honestly. “Why did you choose to study social work?”

“Because of my tragic childhood probably.”, Kayla simply said and shrugged.

“I didn't... mean-mean to invade your privacy.”, Amy stuttered.

“No! It's totally fine, I just want to spare you the details.”, Kayla smiled.

“Well... if you need a social worker to look into your case, you could always ask me.”, Amy offered sarcastically.

“I'm going to tell you someday, maybe.”

Amy changed the subject to pets because she couldn't think of anything better to say in the moment. Kayla and her were really getting along and becoming more close. They both talked about their life back home and how they miss the little things about it.

“So... Amy, let's get to the big questions. Have you been in love?”, Kayla smirked.

“First of all... why is that a big question? And second of all... please define 'in love'.”, Amy tried to avoid the topic after all.

“It's a big question because only two things are forever: Tattoos and love.”, Kayla started, “Second, did you ever like someone enough that you wanted the both you to be a couple?”

“I think more things are forever than tattoos and love but alright, nice answer. And by your definition, I definitely have been in love before.”, the freckled girl admitted.

“Tell me about it.”

“There was this girl Ryan who I was pining over for years, I think... but she just wasn't interested in me, so that never worked out well.”, Amy told her.

“What did you like about her?”, Kayla bugged her about this topic.

“Ryan has kinda the popular chill girl who would skate all day. She had this sunshine personality and her very own style? I don't really know but I think I liked her for being so... happy all the time? I can't really explain.”, Amy rumbled.

“But you and Ryan were never a thing?”, Kayla had to clarify.

“I wish...”, Amy kind of whispered and felt how her cheeks blushed a little, “No, Ryan and I only talked to each other at school like twice and the party before graduation. Which was seriously awkward.”

“Why?”, the blonde seemed so interested in Amy's love life which Amy found really sweet.

“Well... I really liked her at that point and I tried to make a move asking her about her sexual orientation. Turns out she had a thing for someone else who had to be Molly's crush. I saw them kissing in the pool and felt heartbroken for the first time ever.”

“Wait, so... you and Molly had a crush on different people who made out the evening before graduation when the both of you tried to make your move on them?”, Kayla summarized. Amy just nodded in response.

“That's too bad.”, the blonde girl mouthed.

“The night before graduation was quite the spectacular, really.”, Amy remembered.

“It really bothers me that I have to drag everything out of you!”, Kayla played frustrated.

Just as they were walking by some trees with people sitting underneath, Amy noticed one very familiar face. She just wanted to tell Kayla the story of how her best friend and her went to three different parties in one night, how she got drugged by one of her crazy classmates and how the night ended with her going to prison. But she stopped dead in her tracks and just looked at the girl who was focusing on the story she was reading. Hope was sitting under on of the yellow trees, holding a book in her hand and a bottle of water in the other. She couldn't believe her eyes, was her mind tricking her right now?

“Amy, are you okay?”, Kayla asked because Amy wasn't moving.

Amy didn't respond right away but stared at Hope who just kept on reading her book. She seemed to be in her own bubble, not really being part of the normal world.

“I know, this sounds cra-zy... but I-I-I really need-ed to talk to this girl.”, Amy whispered and pointed to Hope who still hasn't noticed her.

“Who is she?”, Kayla asked, seeing the tall girl reading. “Should I come with you?”

“No, I have to go alone… I'll explain later. I really have-ve to do this NOW and probably call Molly afterwards!”, Amy said and started walking away.

“What? Who...?”, she heard Kayla ask in the background.

But all she could think off this second was Hope casually leaning against a tree at Columbia University without any word about it. No text, no call, nothing even from Annabelle or Molly. What kind of bullshit was everyone participating in?

Amy was walking fast and couldn't think of anything to say to the cool girl. She was angry, disappointed and frustrated about the situation really but mostly she blamed herself for it.

“What the hell are you doing here?”, Amy blurted out and sounded more pissed than expected.

Hope looked a little irritated at first and as she realized the voice she recognized was Amy's she smirked a little, shutting her book and laying it in the grass.

“Hello Amy.”, Hope smiled. “You got tanned!”

“Hope, what the hell are you doing here?”, Amy repeated herself.

“Reading. Sitting. Breathing.”, she answered provocatively.

“Haha, very funny...”, Amy said and sat down in front of her.

Amy didn't know what else to say. Hope was messing with her and she didn't like it. She wouldn't get answers this way but she was just too pissed and confused.

“I go to Barnard.”, Hope said after they just looked at each other for a way too long time.

“Why didn't you tell me?”, Amy asked, slowly calming down.

“Well, I was about to do so in like nine months?”, Hope encountered and shook her head.

“WHY?”, Amy had the feeling she had never been so frustrated before.

People started to look at them, some amused and some confused.

“Well... Amy, I don't know. Maybe you should have thought about this earlier.”, Hope told her and you could tell she was furious with Amy for waiting a whole year to text her.

“I'm sorry, okay?”, Amy apologized sincerely.

“I really wanted you to start a conversation.”, Hope admitted.

“Then let me start one right now.”, Amy suggested as if the whole conversation earlier didn't happen.

“Amy, we are already talking with each other.”

“But let's talk about what happened.”, Amy insisted. “I want to know...”

“What do you want to know?”, Hope asked as Amy didn't finish her sentence.

“I want to know why you didn't text me back.”, Amy confronted Hope.

“So do I!”, Hope fired back. Amy felt like she was about to cry.

“I REALLY wanted to? I guess I was too scared and too embarrassed.”, Amy tried to explain her thoughts during her gap year.

“But why now?”, Hope asked the questions she didn't have answers for since the beginning of summer.

“Because being back made me realize that there is a possibility of seeing you again.”

“And that's a bad thing?”, Hope asked further.

“In a way, yes. How the hell was I suppose to explain that, even though I was actually interested, I didn't text or call?”, Amy started, calming down, “I still was looking forward to see you but I couldn't give you all the answers. I don't even know them.”

“You were looking forward to see me?”, Hope said, surely getting caught up on this topic.

“Of course.”, Amy shook her head, “I'm glad to finally see you again.”

“Why didn't you start this conversation with that?”, Hope chuckled, making Amy uncomfortable.

“I wasn't expecting anything like this.”, Amy clarified.

“I'm glad you texted and came over here.”, Hope admitted, blushing a little.

“Seriously, I can't read your mind.”, Amy said confused and defensive, not knowing what she was suppose to say.

“We're a half written story... if you want us to be.”, Hope answered.

“We're just starting our story, Hope. If you want us to.”, Amy said, as she scooched closer to Hope.

“You think so?”, the taller girl smirked.

“This time... I'm sure about it.”

Hope was looking deep into Amy’s dark eyes. They didn’t say anything for a few seconds and kind of just admired each other. A lot of details were still missing from both sides and the young women had a lot to talk about but neither Hope nor Amy cared in this exact moment. The tension was so obvious, even a blind person could see. 

But nothing happened besides the smiles appearing on their faces. The two young women were finally seeing the other one again, being overwhelmed by their feelings and emotions at first, but everything was starting to slowly calm down.

“You want to grab a coffee and talk?”, Hope suggested. “You could tell me about Botswana and I could tell you about… maybe Europe.”

“That sounds really nice.”, Amy smiled.

“It's my treat.”, Hope stated.

“No, I need to pay!”, Amy encountered.

“Why?”

“I want to make it up to you.”, Amy insisted.

“Oh... and you think paying for coffee makes us even? You have to do a lot more than that.”, Hope laughed lightly.

“Well... it's only my first step in my twelve steps apology program.”, Amy joked.

“I'm really looking forward to the eleven other steps.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if this will work but I want to kind of make a poll what happens in the next chapter.
> 
> Give me some suggestions what Amy and Hope should definitly talk about because the next chapter doesn't really exist yet.
> 
> (There are more chapters but I don't think they fit the storyline right now!)
> 
> I hope I can upload next weekend but we'll see. Depends on your ideas, really.


	4. getting to know each other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope and Amy getting to know each other better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I've been watching Last Man Standing because of Kaitlyn, so... there is that.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter :D

**Chapter Four**

Hope and Amy both silently stood in line of the coffee shop, not really knowing how to start the conversation they were suppose to have. At least they were starting the twelve step plan to apologize, which Amy came up with in Botswana by the way. Yes, she had been thinking of making it up to Hope in case there was a chance to.

Amy paid for the two coffees, looked at Hope and realized that the book Hope was so focused on earlier was a collection of the poems by Emily Dickinson.

“I never saw a moor, I never saw the sea. Yet know I how the Heather looks and what a Billow be.”, Amy started quoting her favorite poem by the famous poet.

“I never spoke with God, nor visited heaven – yet certain am I of the spot, as if the checks were given.”, Hope ended the poem, smiling at Amy.

“That was lovely.”, Hope added. “I wouldn't have guessed for you to be the poem reading type of person.”

“Well... we don't know each other that well.”, Amy said, surprisingly confident.

“That is why I wanted to talk in the first place.”, Hope reminded her and chuckled.

As the barista called out their names, they walked over and got their coffees.

“Wait, what did you order?”, Amy asked.

“Vanilla Chai Latte.”, Hope answered. “I actually don't like coffee.”

“See? We are getting to know each other better already.”, Amy smiled.

Hope walked them back to campus, to the tree she was sitting under when Amy came up to her, yelling around. She really loved the campus because New York isn't the greenest city on earth, like at all. Well, of course there is Central Park but after finding that tree, she didn't feel the need to visit it for now. The tree had a perfect surface to lean against it and a great angle to watch people, just a perfect spot for the taller girl.

Amy sat down in front of Hope, just like before and put the black coffee next to her. She crossed her legs and – one could tell – didn't really know what to say then.

“Look... I don't want anything to be awkward. I know it was a mistake to not tell you that I would basically study at the same college you would, even after you didn't text me for such a long time. I'm so sorry for it. Normally, as soon as I see a message, I answer. I don't get these crappy social media rules that you should wait at least three days or shit. If I feel like talking to you, I will text you.”, Hope tried to clear the scene.

“I'm really sorry for not texting you either. You... didn't deserve that and I don't know what had gotten into me,... I can't really explain it.”, Amy apologized as well.

“How about some basic ground rules then?”, Hope suggested maturely.

“What... What do you have in mind?”, the smaller girl asked a little nervous.

“You and I won't ever be mad about the not texting thing and... maybe before we... like bolt into something, we start out as people... who are... like dating?”, this time Hope was the one who stuttered.

“So... you're... still... still interested?”, Amy felt really surprised.

She shrugged, nodded and asked: “Are you?”

“I'm totally cool with getting to know each other better because... even though we went to middle and high school together, I feel like I don't know anything about you. But I still need you to define... dating and if... if it's okay with you... could we not even talk about the whole bathroom thing?”, Amy rumbled.

“You only ever talked to Molly so... yeah, you probably don't know a lot about me.”, Hope started, “And I'd say... dating would be taking each other out on dates and by that getting to know each other better... and for now, I won't bring up the bathroom thing... BUT if someone asks how we started out, I will tell them.”

Amy exhaled sharply: “Alright. I want to try... this time, for real.”

“Me too.”

***

After talking about some basic rules which included naming the relationship and its boundaries, they decided to walk around campus a little bit. Hope was so glad the tiny girl would get even more nervous than she did. Because if she was being honest, she did have a crush on Amy for most of high school. Amy made her feel special, just by the most basic things like saying hello or being nice. At school, she really tried to get the girl's attention but the last years of high school she saw Amy fantasizing over Ryan multiple times. Hope knew she had no right to be jealous but she certainly was.

“Let's start with the basics. Do you get along with your parents?”, Amy asked, trying to get to know the other young woman. She couldn't really think of anything else to ask.

Hope was ripped from her thoughts and telling Amy about the whole situation with her parents might be too much for a first meeting.

“I know I said, I wanted to know you better... um, I'm not going to tell you about my parents, yet. There is more to that story -”

“I'm so sorry, don't feel like you have to explain yourself.”, Amy interrupted, “It's really healthy to have boundaries.”

Hope smiled at the comment a little. She knew the freckled girl meant it and wouldn't try to force her to talk about it.

“I really wish.. I would have... asked something... else.”, Amy stuttered again.

“You still have multiple chances to ask something different, if you want to.”, Hope tried to calm down Amy's nerves.

“Okay, okay! Let me try again... What is your favorite color?”, Amy asked the most basic question. Any toddler would have come up with a better question.

“I like green and yellow.”, Hope answered simply. “What about you?”

“I don't like to pick one because they're all special and beautiful in their own way.”, Amy said.

“Lame. Who doesn't have a favorite color?”, Hope laughed.

“Me, I guess.”, Amy answered simply, not surprised by Hope's reaction. It wouldn't be the first time someone laughed at her for that response.

“Certainly makes you special, Amy.”, Hope flirted which made Amy's cheeks turn a little red.

“So... if you could meet anyone, dead or alive, to have only one dinner with, who would it be and why?”, Hope questioned in her mysterious way.

Amy was caught by surprise and had to think about the answer for a few seconds. She liked that about Hope, always turning out to be different from what Amy would expect. Amy knew the girl might be totally playing her but she couldn't resist how different Hope made her feel.

“Well...”, Amy thought out loud, “that's a really tough question. I'm guessing someone like Eleanor Roosevelt or Audre Lorde. I have read a lot they wrote or did but honestly, if they would talk to me about it over dinner and I would be able to ask questions, that would be so amazing.”

“Of course, you would meet feminist icons.”, Hope laughed a little.

“Unlike you, I think equality is worth fighting for.”

“When did I say that it wasn't?”, the taller girl asked.

“It's my turn to ask the questions, isn't it?”, Amy tried to distract Hope.

“Yes, it is.”, the taller girl chuckled, clearly making Amy uncomfortable.

“What do you think happens after people die?”, Amy tried to think of something similar to Hope's question.

“Deep topic. I don't believe in things like heaven or hell but I do believe something awaits for us on the other side of this ending.”, Hope said.

“But you don't have a clue what that is?”

“I can hope there is something good, like all the books in the world and maybe like all the people who used to be with us? You could even meet your favorite feminists then.”, Hope tried to explain. “But I can't guarantee it, so I try not to get disappointed.”

“There certainly isn't a guarantee for anything depending the afterlife.”, Amy acknowledged.

“I hope I gave you a satisfying answer.”, Hope said. “What's your favorite movie?”

“Favorite movie? That is a downgrade to the question before.”, Amy laughed.

“Well... there is a lot I would like to know about you, including your favorite movie.”, Hope smiled at the smaller girl and sipped at her Chai Latte.

“My favorite movie is probably The Lion King. I probably watched it like a million times.”, Amy said.

“What do you think about the real life version?”, Hope asked her.

“Gosh, I loved watching it but I still hate the fact that there is a new version.”, Amy stated.

“So you enjoyed it but you don't like it because it's new?”, Hope repeated which made Amy nod.

“I know Walt Disney wanted the movies to be renewed every ten years so every generation could enjoy them, but I'm pretty sure that is not what he meant.”, Amy added, “The lions don't even show real emotions because... well, they are 'real' lions and a baby lion crying next to the corpse of his dead father should show some emotion.”

“Thanks for the spoiler.”, Hope interposed.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”, Amy felt like heaven and hell just collided. “You-you have seen the movie, right?”

Hope just chuckled and nodded.

“God, Hope... whatever this is, would be a movie night now if you hadn't seen it.”, Amy shared one of her thoughts.

“It's your turn to ask me something.”, Hope brought the topic back up.

“Back home, where did you go to think?”, Amy asked the question she had come up with.

“To the beach. There is this little spot where I used to hide as a kid and whenever I need to think, I go there.”, Hope answered honestly.

Amy smiled at her and noticed that Hope used to hide as kid and wouldn't talk about her parents. Of course she didn't know exactly what it meant but she was pretty sure there is an explaining interaction of these two. Hopefully, studying social work wouldn't make her analyze everyone she met.

“Do you believe women are more powerful than men?”, Hope asked the feminist.

“Depends. Biologically, men are physically more powerful but the brain of women works more efficiently and tends to have better cognitive skills in general. In terms of society, I think all of us are equal even though I know people don't really like that thought and the law definitely doesn't prove it... yet. Evolution actually suggests we are kinda equal but play different roles in life. I don't like thinking of me as a dependent creature that has to just play the part of their gender, you know?”, Amy summarized.

“So... no?”, Hope was confused after Amy's short monologue.

“I would say so, yeah.”, Amy nodded. “What's your favorite memory of Europe?”

“I'd rather not choose because I saw so much. But I really liked camping in the middle of nowhere to see the northern lights in Norway. Might have been my favorite moment to photograph.”, Hope remembered smilingly. “It was just breathtaking.”

“I bet it was.”, Amy answered, trying to recreate the situation in her head.

  
  


***

Later that evening, Amy invited Hope to her dorm room. Which sounded kind of suspicious at first but Amy explained that she was getting cold and wasn't used to the low temperatures in New York City yet. After all, she moved here a few days ago.

Hope sat down on Amy's bed and looked around interested. She wanted to know the freckled girl better by looking around her room, maybe find some hidden hints. Amy still had a few boxes standing next to the closet which she didn't unpack yet. Amy kept saying she has to do it sooner or later but honestly, with college going on and trying to get along with new routines and people, her room wasn't the first thing to deal with.

Hope noticed that Amy must have a lot of opinions. Because she has these little postcards standing in every shelf and on her desk reading statements like 'All people are equal!', 'My body, my choice' or 'Climate change? No thank you!'. But Amy being an activist wasn't the only characteristic this room was presenting. Amy hung up some pictures of her with mostly Molly, some of her gap year to Botswana and few of her parents. You could clearly see that Amy loved her parents but wasn't going to shove it in the face of some college students so they could judge.

Her desk was covered with books, magazines and papers which surely were borrowed from the university's library. Even though only four days had past, Hope figured Amy had been studying more than anybody. Internally she smiled to herself about the smaller girl being such an eager nerd.

As Hope stared at the desk, Amy blushed and walked over embarrassed: “I meant to clean that up!”

“I like it messy.”, Hope encountered. “You don't have to tidy up just for me.”

Amy closed a few books and tried to sort them on her desk. Hope was just laughing and stood up, walking over to the smaller girl.

“Amy, stop!”, she said, as she took Amy's hand and turned her around to face her, “It's okay. The only person that has to feel good in your dorm room is you.”

“Well... um, I didn't expect... any... visitors.”, Amy stuttered as she looked into the taller girl's eyes, getting goosebumps because Hope was still holding her hand.

“I'm making you really nervous.”, Hope acknowledged the goosebumps and bit her lip.

“Maybe...”, Amy said and swallowed hard.

“How about...”, Hope started, letting go of Amy's hand and reaching for the inner pocket of her signature jacket, “we get you to loosen up a little bit.”

She held a bottle of some dark rum in her hands and handed the bottle to Amy whose hands were shaking. Amy nodded, a little scared where the night was about to go.

“I don't really drink, though.”, Amy stated as she finally sat down on her bed, on top of her dark blue bed sheet cover.

“I know, you don't. That's why I'm offering you to play a game. It's called 'Quessing'.”

“What's that suppose to mean?”, Amy asked confused.

“It's a mixture of questioning and guessing. The trick about it is that you just try to guess something about the other person – maybe a question on your mind – and if you guess correctly, the other one has to drink.”, Hope explained the game she clearly just came up with.

“Well, that sounds kinda cool.”, Amy said and handed the bottle back to Hope who sat down next to her. “You should start so I can figure out whether I got it or not.”

She took the bottle from Amy's hand, slightly touching it and feeling the soft skin.

“Okay, so... I'm gonna say, you never kissed someone that isn't me.”, Hope guessed and held the bottle in Amy's direction who took it, looking ashamed.

“You're mean.”, Amy whined and took a sip of the liquid.

“Your turn.”

“I bet you kissed more people than I did.”, Amy encountered fiercely.

Hope took a way bigger sip than Amy and furrowed after it. She couldn't even remember why she kept this hideous shit in her pocket but right now, she was glad to have something to make Amy be less nervous. Not to seduce her in any way but to get to know more about the tiny girl.

“I guess you don't have any close friends besides Molly.”, Hope tried to lure Amy out.

But surprisingly the girl didn't take the bottle, she just shrugged.

“Who are they?”, Hope asked.

“His name is Jacob. I met him in Botswana.”, Amy summarized her story with Jacob to the minimum.

“Now you have a wife and a husband? What does that make me?”, Hope answered jokingly.

“The mistress.”, Amy joked confidently.

“Oh, you wish.”, Hope laughed. “I guessed wrong, so your turn.”

“I say... you... really want to be a professional writer.”, Amy guessed randomly.

“That would certainly be awesome but... no”, Hope answered, playing with the bottle in her hand.

“What do you want to do for a living?”, Amy asked interested.

“I want to make money from photographing my travels.”, Hope dreamed a little.

“That's a beautiful goal.”, Amy smiled at the taller girl.

“My turn. I say you had a huge crush on Ryan in high school.”, Hope said and blushed a little herself.

Amy frowned and looked confused to the taller girl: “How... how would you know?”

She took the bottle from Hope's hand and took a bigger sip than the one before. Not as big as Hope's but thinking about Ryan made her want to drown in alcohol anyway.

“Well... you have to guess how I found out. That's how the game works.”, Hope answered and chuckled, avoiding the question.

“Well... okay. I bet you had a crush on a girl in high school”, Amy challenged Hope provocatively.

Hope never told anyone she had any questions about herself in terms of sexuality. Annabelle once asked her why they almost never talk about hot guys. But Hope being Hope, she just said that it wasn't anyone's business who she considered to be hot. Which worked quite well, with Annabelle commenting on Hope being way too grumpy sometimes.

Hope breathed in and exhaled sharply after taking a sip from her rum bottle.

“What?”, Amy complained, “You have to tell me who you had a crush on!”

“And again, that's not how the game works”, Hope smiled devilishly.

“Well... then starting guessing.”, Amy tried to speed her up.

“I guess... you planned on calling Molly first thing tomorrow.”

Amy ripped the bottle away from Hope's hand, took a sip and stuck her tongue out.

“I bet the girl you liked is Annabelle.”, Amy guessed widely, not knowing who would make more sense than the Yale student.

“I'm surely not going to drink to that misjudgment.”, Hope said provocatively.

“Oh, come on!”, Amy whined.

“It's my turn again. Um... I say, you want to marry one day.”

Amy wasn't sure about that. The principle of marriage didn't originally scream feminism which bothered Amy whenever she thought about it, especially for gay people. And she was always asking questions who would propose and if she would rather wear a suit or a dress? The society making her ask these questions made her suppress the topic as much as possible.

“I'm not sure.”, she explained, “But... the girl you had a crush on was Claire Jones.”

“Amy... I know for you, we are just strangers with some memories... but I liked you, even longer than you might expect.”, the taller girl revealed and looked onto the ground.

“You-y-oou-you l-iked me-me?”, Amy stuttered, trying to process what Hope was saying. And is the verb in the past or...? Because if it was in the past, Amy had to know... she wouldn't want to know really, but she still had to. Amy had to know whether there was no chance for Amy to make it up to her. Whether the taller girl still had some feelings for her?

Hope cleared her throat lightly, nodded and avoided the topic: “My turn! I say you don't have siblings.”

“I say... you do have siblings.”, Amy encountered and drank a sip.

“Only an only child would have asked this question. And I have three younger sisters -”

“THREE?”, Amy blurted out, interrupting Hope accidentally. “I'm so sorry.”

“Yes, three.”, Hope kind of whispered so Amy would get the hint that she had been really loud.

“Wow, that must be awesome...”, Amy kind of pitied herself a little.

“They are awesome, I really love them. They were my hardest goodbye.”, Hope looked down and thought about her little sisters being back in Los Angeles.

Hope would always help them with their homework and pick them up after school or from some friend's house. She knew they would get along without her and since Faith just got her drivers license she could take care of the others as well. The enjoyment they would bring Hope just by sitting together and smiling at her, God... Hope missed that more than anything.

“Are their names like yours? Like one sister is named Faith?”, Amy tried to be funny. Little did she know she just committed a blunder.

“I'm the oldest, after me comes Faith, after her comes Mercy and the last one is Joy.”, Hope always laughed if she told someone about her sisters' names.

“You are kidding, right?”, Amy looked shocked.

“I wish I was. I really don't know what my parents would have done if one of us would have been a boy?”, Hope thought out loud, “Imagine a boy named Faith.”

“Well... I can imagine that. Because a name is just as much of a label as a lot of other things.”, Amy knew it better.

“How old are your sisters?”, Amy asked again.

“Faith is sixteen now, Mercy is turning thirteen in two months and Joy – my little angel – is nine.”, Hope smiled, especially while talking about her youngest sibling.

“Do you miss them?”, Amy thought about leaving her parents behind, even though it probably wasn't the same at all.

“Yeah, I do. So much.”, Hope confirmed. “By the way... for guessing a name of my sister right by joking about it, you drink.”

“What... Why?”, Amy defended herself, “That was not part of the rules.”

“Well... I make the rules. And you are drinking.”, she handed Amy the bottle.

“Just so you know, I just... want to drink right now. I won't drink because of your stupid rule making crap.”, Amy made clear.

“You're such an idiot for being this smart.”, Hope complimented the smaller girl.

“You don't get to call me an idiot.”, Amy complained.

Hope didn't say anything. Not because she didn't know how to counter to that response but... just because a really beautiful girl was sitting across from her and she hadn't appreciated this enough. Hope loved watching people but nothing could compare to the view she was having right now. Knowing that Amy was still figuring out if she would even want to be in a relationship with a girl that had the reputation of the cold high school bitch without any friends, Hope had already worked it out. Meeting Amy in middle school might have been the best thing that happened to her. Well... her past self wouldn't agree to that but as she was leaning against the wall Amy's bed was standing at, she wished for her middle school self to shut the hell up.

“What?”, Amy laughed after a little while and Hope could drown in that shy laugh.

“You're beautiful.”, Hope let out her thought.

“Than-thank you.”, Amy gulped. “You're... rea-really beautiful, too.”

“I guess...”, Hope tried to get back to the game but not for the reason they started it.

“Yeah?”, Amy waited.

“I guess... you want to kiss me right now.”, Hope stated confidently but couldn't help but gulp herself.

Amy seemed shock at first but within seconds she moved the bottleneck to her lips, held in for a second and drank a huge sip. Yes, she wanted to kiss the taller beautiful girl so badly. If she was being honest, she was kind of surprised with herself that the alcohol didn't make her do anything stupid by now. But Hope just chilling on Amy's bed, being all flirty and both of them making jokes and having fun made Amy realize what a smart and wonderful human being Hope was and how much she liked the company of the cool girl. And honestly, kissing her would just be some advanced shit.

Amy sat down the bottle next to Hope and tried to guess a new fact about Hope: “I bet, you want -”

She didn't get to finish her sentence because Hope interrupted her by just smashing her lips onto hers. Immediately, Amy kissed her back and pulled the taller girl closer by putting her arms around her neck.

Hope tried to put as much effort into that kiss as she could. They hadn't seen each other in over a year and definitely hadn't kissed that long either. Hope knew the waiting was all worth it as her stomach was riding roller coasters by kissing the freckled girl. Hope held Amy's left cheek in one hand and put her other arm around the girl's torso.

And in the middle of this night, the world stopped for a moment.


	5. Automobile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope and Amy on their first "real" date...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey people! It's me again!
> 
> Happy first birthday to Booksmart. Can't believe I missed out on it last year. :/
> 
> It's been an amazing ride writing this story so far and I hope you enjoy the next chapter just as much.
> 
> Just a note from me: You should definitely listen to the mentioned songs, for your own good.
> 
> Stay safe! :)

**Chapter Five**

Amy woke up with her head rumbling intensely. She couldn't remember everything from last night clearly. The last thing she knew about was the kiss which felt like winning ten debating competitions at once. How both of them ended up sleeping in the small bed in Amy's dorm room was a mystery.

Hope was still asleep and Amy wasn't going to wake her up. After all they stayed up late and sleeping in on a Saturday shouldn't be a problem for anybody. But Amy definitely had to process yesterday. Keeping secrets from Molly wasn't easy, even with distance keeping them physically apart. From time to time, she still felt guilty for lying about Botswana but she couldn't just crush Molly's life plan.

Amy quietly and slowly got up from her bed, trying her hardest not to wake the sleeping beauty. It wasn't that easy with the bad headache. She simply grabbed her phone, a pain killer – placing one for Hope on the nightstand as well – and got out of her own room. After closing the door, she sat down in the hallway dialing Molly's phone number.

“Amy!”, the Yale student answered excited to hear from her best friend.

“Molly... Hope is here!”, Amy blurted out fast.

“Finally! I was already thinking you might never meet her...”, Molly sounded relieved.

“Wait... you knew?”, Amy asked confused.

“I couldn't tell you. I promised Annabelle, I'm so sorry.”, Molly apologized sincerely.

“You were never good at keeping secrets, so... I'm proud of you. I just really wish you wouldn't have kept this one.”, Amy told her honestly.

“I know Amy... but Hope specifically texted that she wants a fresh start with you.”

“It certainly was a different start.”, Amy laughed lightly.

“So this time you didn't finger her butthole?”, Molly reminded her.

“We got to know each other better.”, Amy ignored the joke Molly was making.

“And... how do you feel about her?”, Molly questioned.

“We agreed on dating and I really want to make it up to her.”, Amy answered truthfully.

“But... do you like her?”, Molly asked more specifically.

“She is definitely not how I thought she would be...”, Amy stated, “I think... I might... like her.”

“YES! DOUBLE DATES!”, Molly screamed through the phone and hurt Amy's ear in the process.

“Double dates? Like... with you and Jared?”, Amy bugged.

“Who else, Amy?”, Molly encountered, thinking it was more than obvious who she meant.

“We can probably do that. I never suggested it to Hope.”, Amy said and wasn't really sure whether _she_ even wanted to go on a date when Jared is going to attend. Amy will always support Molly in her choices, no matter what, but she didn't know whether she could look past Jared's high school self for a few hours.

“I'll get back to you about an appointment. Jared and I will be coming over so could you choose the restaurant?”, Molly already planned it out.

“Fine... I'll tell Hope about it.”, Amy gave in.

“Perfect, but I've got to go now. I motivated Annabelle to study at the library with me and now I'm the one running late...”, Molly excused herself.

“Call you later.”, Amy said.

“Sure. Bye!”

“Bye!”

The best friends hung up and Amy exhaled sharply. Hope won't be happy about having to spend hours with Molly and Jared on a double date. Well... of course, Amy didn't know what Hope's reaction would be but she could tell the taller girl wouldn't jump at it. She wouldn't have guessed that Hope actually told Annabelle to not say anything about going to Barnard. The only question was how long Annabelle and Molly kept this from her? Knowing about it wouldn't change anything though, so why bother?

Amy stood up and opened the door slowly. To her surprise, Hope was sitting at the edge of her bed and stretched her back a little. She yawned loudly and looked over to the freckled girl, smiling.

“Good morning.”, she yawned again. “I was just going to look for you.”

“Well as you know, I had to call Molly.”, Amy explained where she went.

“How does the wife feel about the mistress?”, Hope flirted.

“She invited us to a double date with her and Jared.”, Amy laughed nervously.

“And you said...?”, Hope asked, praying Amy didn't say yes.

“I agreed...”, Amy revealed and by the look on Hope's face, she could tell the other girl wasn't happy with that answer, “Please don't be mad.”

“I'm not mad... But it will probably be a pain in the ass.”, Hope answered truthfully.

“It will be fine.”, Amy really hoped.

“So... I will head to my own room now.”, Hope stood up and reached for Amy's hands.

“What are your plans for tonight?”, Amy asked, thinking about making step two happen as soon as possible.

“I certainly have to call my sisters later but that won't take long.”, Hope said and leaned over to kiss the smaller girl, “But afterwards... I got all the time in the world.”

“So... you-ou want to go-go on a date... with-with me?”, Amy stuttered nervously again. They agreed on dating yesterday and she wasn't even able to ask the girl out properly.

“Sure, let's say around seven?”, Hope suggested. Amy just nodded, being too afraid to say something.

“I'll see you then.”, Hope said and gave the girl another peck on the lips.

***

Hope sat in her chair in front of her desk with a dark computer screen. She just started the video call she and her sisters promised each other. Hope missed them so much, she couldn't wait to see their faces again, even though the last time was like one week ago. Going from seeing your sisters every single day to not seeing them for weeks or months won't get easier for the tall girl.

“Hope!”, Joy screamed as she saw her bigger sister.

The girls were sitting in Faith's room, on her big bed together. They seemed so happy to see their big sister and Hope couldn't help but smile widely. She just loved these chaotic three. Mercy – just like she always used to be – didn't really pay attention while Faith tried to adjust the webcam so Hope could see all of them equally. Joy just stared at the screen, waiting for the taller girl to answer.

“Hey guys!”, Hope smiled and wallowed in memories.

Always getting up first, waking the others and making sure they actually get up as well. After their Mom wasn't with them anymore, she felt even more responsible than before and after a while she couldn't just look away anymore. Their father was definitely more than overwhelmed with the new situation, being a single parent – especially with four girls under his roof. He really tried to have a healthy work-life-balance but he failed so badly at it, Hope knew she had to step up her game. Even with a babysitter around, the younger girls were her new priority. Making breakfast, dealing with 'girl stuff' as their Dad called it and helping in the house as much as she could. She realized that her life suddenly changed forever in an unfair way but she chose to help and try for her Dad and the others, even though it shouldn't have been like that for... well, just some child.

“Hope, when will you be back?”, Joy asked and looked so sad.

“I'll be back for the Christmas holidays, just like I told you.”, Hope reminded her, trying to make her feel a little happier.

“What about Thanksgiving?”, Faith asked, taking Mercy's phone from her hand who pouted instantly.

“Thanksgiving is just before midterm, I won't be able to drive back.”, Hope explained, realizing that one of her favorite holidays she will be studying alone, far away from her family.

“Who is going to make the best mashed potatoes ever when you aren't around?”, Joy whined, remembering her favorite thing about Thanksgiving. She would always watch Hope cook the dinner and try to help her as much as possible. The youngest sister looked up to Hope and wanted to be just like her when she is all grown up.

“You watched me make them a lot of times, I bet you make them even better.”, Hope encountered and smiled at the thought.

“I bet not.”, Mercy commented, a bit pissed.

“How are you guys doing?”, Hope asked, making sure they were fine.

“Faith drives like a lunatic! I was thinking about wearing a helmet next week”, Mercy joked harshly. “And most of the time, she screams at the other drivers.”

“I have heard more curse words in one week than I have my entire life.”, Joy added to Mercy's description of the new situation.

“It's not that bad”, Faith answered, feeling hurt. “It's all new. Not having someone telling me how to drive. And it's a different car than before, with Hope's it was so much easier.”

Over the summer before Hope moved away for college, Faith got her drivers license and the both of them practiced a little with her car so Hope was sure, the girls were arriving to school safely and hopefully punctual. They would often argue about any misunderstanding – sometimes it was exhausting because in Hope's opinion Faith's driving was lacking responsibility. But her sister improved a lot after all so of course, she would be hurt by the others' comments.

“You can consider yourselves lucky to have someone driving you to school.”, Hope reminded them. “I didn't have that.”

“You had yourself.”, Mercy said, still being pissed.

“We don't have you anymore but you do! It's so unfair!”, Joy anticipated.

“And you have all three of you and I only have myself. I think I drew the “Black Peter” in this one.”, Hope argued.

“What's the Black Peter?”, Joy asked confused.

“It's this Rumantsch saying. It basically means the same as being left holding the baby.”, Hope explained proudly because she seemed to remember some facts about her new courses. There was this photography exam about making metaphorical pictures about proverbs. Is it actually metaphorical though? Isn't it more like anti-methaporical because metaphors are defined as a picture as words but this is words as pictures?

“Well then... you definitely didn't draw the Black Peter in this situation.”, Mercy said, proving she is smart enough to pick up on the saying immediately. But still too whiny to say it any... friendlier.

Mercy just hit puberty and had a tough time trying to fit in which surprisingly didn't come easy on her. Not even being the smart and confident girl she usually was at home. Maybe there was just too much change at once for her with a new school. She did say that she felt like she just figured out junior high.

“I was trying to say that I miss you all so much.”, Hope smiled sadly.

“We miss you, too.”, Joy answered.

“Can't you just fly back here?”, Faith asked. “We have money, right?”

“Look, if you pay for both flights, I might head home for like one weekend or something.”, Hope suggested a deal.

“Alright, it's a deal.”, Joy spit in her hand and Hope and her pretended to shake hands.

“You guys are weird.”, Mercy threw in.

Hope knew they would try to convince their father to pay the flight because well... they definitely weren't poor if you asked Hope. She won a full scholarship by participating in this photography contest but honestly, paying for college wouldn't have been any problem for their family. Her Dad earned more than enough by being a lawyer for some huge organizations as his clients. And he always kicked ass doing exactly that.

She just kind of hoped their father wouldn't pay for 'unnecessary travels' anymore like he used to tell her in Europe. Because flying back and forth in the US would actually be unnecessary, even in her opinion. She wouldn't ask her father to deny it though because she did miss her sisters enough to like the idea of being around them again. The universe had to decide whether this would work out or not.

“Can I go now?!”, Mercy got up from the bed. She really seemed like the only one who didn't pay any attention Hope. But her big sister knew that there just something else bothering her.

“Let me talk to Mercy alone for a few minutes.”, Hope told the others. They frowned but she could hear that both of them left the room anyway.

“I'm not talking to you.”, Mercy pouted and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“What happened, sweetie?”, the older girl asked, knowing she used to tickle her until she told her what was wrong.

“I'm not sure if I want to tell you”, Mercy opened up a little for the first time since the conversation started. “You won't be on my side...”

“Oh... you know I'll always have your back. I can try to understand your position.”, Hope ensured the young girl to speak up, even if saying something scared her.

“Dad didn't allow me to have a boyfriend.”, Mercy finally spit it out. “He said I was too young.”

“You are very young.”, Hope supported her Dad in that part, “But he is trying to protect you no matter what. If you like a boy, don't like... show him off to Dad – he thinks it's his job to make sure every boyfriend you have knows that he has a rifle. Boys aren't as brave as you think... Trust me.”

“So... you want me to lie to Dad?”, Mercy summarized.

“I want you to make sure that when the guy meets our Dad, he won't run off because he really likes you.”, Hope explained it differently.

“So... I have to make sure he likes me enough to look past Dad?”

Hope just nodded and Mercy exhaled sharply.

“Well that won't be easy. Dad can be really scary sometimes.”, Mercy admitted.

“That's part of the reason he is good at his job.”, Hope tried to see the positive side.

“Thank you Hope...”, Mercy thanked her older sister for being nice to her although she behaved really shitty before. “I really miss talking to you.”

“I miss talking to you, too.”, Hope smiled sadly.

“COME BACK IN!”, she shouted loudly so the their other sisters would head back inside.

The four siblings talked more about school and how Dad is just overwhelmed with the new situation, not really knowing how to handle anything without Hope. They said he had to win a big case for the firm in order to become name partner. Joy didn't really understand what they meant but she knew Dad has been trying harder lately.

“He basically isn't home anymore.”, Joy commented.

“It's a really heavy case.”, Faith explained to her youngest sister.

“You think he is going to win it, Hope?”, Mercy asked.

“I'm sure he will. He has been working so hard this past time.”

“How would you know? You were in Europe.”, Faith encountered a little harsh.

“I remember you telling me about it all the time.”, she reminded the other girl.

Joy changed the subject rapidly to video games.

“We finally unlocked 777 unique spirits!”, she screamed excited.

“We did!”, Mercy said and high-fived her sisters.

“Impressive. Wish I would have been there.”, Hope commented, remembering how all of them tried to unlock this challenge over the summer. They were to almost 700 when Hope had to leave for college.

“We definitely have to play over the holidays. Smash is so much more fun when you are on my team!”, Joy whined.

“You don't stand a chance to win against the middle sisters anymore!”, Faith challenged them.

“Wow! That sounds like we should make a bet about it?”, Hope confronted them.

What the girls didn't know is that Hope let them win more often than they probably expected. She told Joy about it once and remembered how the youngest smiled devilishly.

“I bet we can easily destroy you and Joy!”, Mercy made their first move.

“I bet you don't stand a chance against me and Hope!”, Joy said fearless.

“What is your offer?”, Hope asked the two middle sisters.

“We'll think about something. Both teams have two minutes.”, Faith said and dragged Mercy out of the screen. Joy looked after them and made sure they wouldn't hear what Hope and Joy would come up with.

“So... since we know I will be back for Christmas, how about they have to clean up if we win?”, Hope suggested.

“I like that idea.”, Joy smiled and was happy to be alone with her lovely sister for a few minutes.

“So... how are you?”, the older girl asked and smiled back.

“I'm fine. I could use help with my homework but Faith promised to look over it later.”, she summarized her situation back home.

“How is Faith doing?”, Hope asked the youngest sibling.

“She has been meaner lately. I don't really know. Don't tell Dad but she doesn't play soccer anymore.”

“She stopped going to practice?”, Hope felt shocked. She drove this girl to soccer practice and games like a hundred times and she had to admit her younger sister might have been the best player on the team.

“She was home last Tuesday and last Thursday.”, Joy told her.

Hope heard the door of Faith's room open and the others coming back inside.

“Two minutes are over!”, Mercy said, “So what do you want to bet?”

“Whoever looses has to clean up after Christmas dinner.”, Joy said proudly.

“Alright, condition one is to clean up after Christmas dinner.”, Faith agreed.

“But condition two is for the winning team. They get a free wish.”, Mercy added.

The free wish condition was something Hope came up with a while back. The sisters had this phase when they wanted to bet about literally everything but the prices were just too low for her to participate anymore. Since the other girls pouted and tried to win her back, she decided a free wish meant the winner gets to ask basically any favor without any questions or pouting.

“Alright. Winners get a free wish, losers get to clean up.”, Hope agreed and knew she surely had to win this one.

***

**Hope:** _Amy and I are dating_

**Annabelle:** _WHAT_

_THE_

_HELL_

_Finally, really. Keeping this from Amy certainly seemed easier than it was._

**Hope:** _I didn't tell her best friend, I told you... so your fault._

**Annabelle:** _Lovely as always_

_So... dating huh?_

**Hope:** _Yeah_

**Annabelle:** _Who asked who?_

**Hope:** _???_

**Annabelle:** _On a date, idiot._

**Hope:** _Oh_

_Amy asked me_

**Annabelle:** _I knew she could twist you around her little finger ;P_

**Hope:** _Shut up._

_What am I suppose to wear though?_

**Annabelle:** _HOW would I know?_

**Hope:** _Ask Molly what Amy is planning for the date._

**Annabelle:** _How about... No?!_

**Hope:** _Alright, I'll ask Amy._

**Annabelle:** _YOU DIDN'T YET?_

_Gosh, sometimes you are such a dumbass._

After she ended the call with her sisters, she was imagining what would happen in a few hours. Amy just asked her out, never said what she had in mind – which was only this morning. Since the small freckled girl probably planned something special, Hope was frustrated. She wanted to know so badly because what if she needed to wear a dress? What if she just wore a dress and they end up jumping on a trampoline? Hope couldn't estimate the other girl's plans.

**Hope:** _Hey, just wanted to know_

_Where are we going later?_

**Amy:** _Hey_

_I want it to be a surprise so I can't tell you :/_

**Hope:** _Can you tell me what to wear?_

**Amy:** _Just wear something pretty but not too glamorous?_

**Hope:** _I can work with that._

***

Hope jammed a little while time passed by slowly. She felt like the clock on her wall was playing her but she kept on plugging on her old acoustic guitar.

Her phone vibrated as she hummed to herself, trying to play the guitar solo in Wish you were here by Pink Floyd.

**Amy:** _Is it okay if you come over? I'm running a little late_

**Hope:** _Sure :)_

Amy was already running late even though they still had a little over an hour to go? Hope was surely interested what the smaller girl was up to that took so long.

***

Amy looked up a restaurant which was fancy enough so the both of them would fit in wearing something pretty – she really hoped that Hope would wear a dress, just like she did. The restaurant couldn't be too expensive because they were only on their first real date but still impressive enough. Amy decided that she wanted to go somewhere they could order 'normal' food like burgers or pizzas but also something way more extraordinary.

She slipped inside her dress and struggled to reach the zipper on her back. Normally she would just ask her mother to do it but she was more than 2000 miles away. Not coming up with a better idea, she found herself walking over to Kayla hoping the blonde girl would be there.

“Kayla?”, Amy knocked at the door.

“Come inside!”, Kayla shouted from behind the door.

Amy walked in and saw Kayla in front of her mirror at her desk. She was getting ready as well and didn't pay much attention to the person coming in.

“Hey Amy...”, she said, starring at her face making her make up, “I'm getting ready for a party.”

She probably was still pissed about Amy leaving her behind just yesterday, storming off to another girl without any kind of explanation.

“I don't mean to bother, I just need a quick favor.”, Amy explained her unannounced visit on a Saturday evening.

Kayla turned around and looked Amy up and down. The freckled girl was clearly getting ready for some event, too. The blonde girl thought Amy was going to ask her to put on her make up or something.

“How can I help you?”, she offered, trying to look past yesterday.

“I just wanted to know if you could help me with the zipper real quick?”

Without saying another word, Kayla got behind Amy and zipped the dark dress the freckled girl was wearing.

“Party or date?”, she asked curiously.

“Date... actually.”, Amy answered, “The girl I stormed off to. I'm really sorry for that.”

“You definitely have to explain this girl to me next time we see each other.”, Kayla made clear, “And now... get out, I'm trying to look perfect!”

Kayla practically shoved Amy out the door, in a playful way but still really unexpected. The door shut and you could hear Kayla walking back to her desk. Amy should really think of a better apology for the blonde. Otherwise she might lose the only new friend she made so far.

Amy was just in time, grabbing her wallet and key as she heard a knock on her door.

“Come inside!”, she shouted from inside.

The door opened and Hope entered the room. She was wearing a cute dark green dress, holding her signature jacket in her arm. The dress was long enough to cover her knees and had this gorgeous V-neckline. The tall girl's legs made Amy shiver for a moment, not realizing she had been starring at the beautiful gaze for a little longer than appropriate.

“You look beautiful.”, Hope smiled, walking over to Amy and reaching for the smaller girl's hands.

Amy was wearing a dark gray dress which ended just before her knees. She loved this dress so much but she only wore it for special occasions – because she wasn't much of a confident dresser. The gray dress had long sleeves and a brown belt matching her hair.

“You took my breath away.”, Amy complimented Hope, grinning.

“So... what is the big plan for tonight?”, Hope asked, hoping Amy would finally tell her.

“We need to take the subway because my car is on the other side of the country.”, Amy avoided the question.

“Well... if you tell me where we are heading, we could just use my car?”, Hope suggested.

“You have your car?”, Amy encountered surprised.

“Yes, I drove all the way from LA.”

“First of all, I'm impressed. Second of all, show it to me?”, Amy said.

Hope showed her out of her own room, heading out of the dormitory. Los Angeles was more than tough already but try to find a parking spot in New York City. If you ever do, either someone will try to steal it or the other cars are parked close enough for a 70 percent chance of scratching one of them. They walked hand in hand down the street.

“So... Can I drive?”, Amy asked hopefully.

“You... want to... drive my car?”, Hope felt more than confused.

“I'm a good driver, if you are asking.”, Amy bragged a little.

“I don't know. The only other person who ever drove my car is my sister... and that used to be a disaster.”

“Oh, come on. You can trust me!”, Amy tried to convince her. She squeezed the taller girl's hand to assure her that she wasn't going to mess around.

“Okay... but you have to treat Rey as if she was one of your own.”, Hope made a compromise while handing Amy the car keys.

“Rey?”, Amy questioned confused.

“Lana Del Rey.”, the taller girl explained and shrugged.

“For a short moment I thought you were a huge Star Wars fan.”, Amy commented.

“But you're the nerd.”, Hope laughed.

“You drive a Seat?”, Amy asked, looking at the logo on the key.

“Yeah, why?”, Hope answered interested why Amy would ask such a question.

“I would have considered you for a Jeep person, actually.”

“Well... your normativity won't work on me.”, Hope joked.

Hope stopped next to a white Seat Leon Cupra with four doors. Amy couldn't believe Hope was driving that modern thing. She thought she was lucky to have the old Volvo back home but well... this is something different. The white car looked cleaner than the Volvo probably ever was, even the fucking license plate didn't have any dirt on it.

“I like to keep it clean.”, Hope caught up on Amy's surprised starring.

“You certainly do.”, Amy answered and unlocked the car doors.

Amy got inside, laughing at herself because the seat definitely wasn't for her size. She adjusted the car seat and the mirrors. As soon as Hope entered on the other front seat, she felt like Amy was already impressing her by making sure everything is in place. Which Faith forgot about all the time.

“Well... since your the co-driver of this ride, you could put on some of your music.”, Amy suggested, referring to all the CDs laying around.

Amy started the car and Hope sorted through the CDs, not sure what Amy might like.

She decided to put on the album A/B by Kaleo, this band from Iceland she really liked. They are a kind of rock-country band but people tend to only know like two songs which, Hope thought, was real bummer. They made a lot of great songs, even the newest EP was worth much more than the rewards it was getting if you asked her.

“I really like that song.”, Amy commented and smiled in Hope's direction before putting her eyes on the road again. “I bet this is your road trip song.”

The song she was referring to is called Automobile. Hope was jamming out to the music, singing along loudly. She didn't feel like she could make a foul of herself in front of the freckled girl in any situation. The girl just gave her this feeling of freedom and like she was suppose to just be herself.

Amy moved her head to the rhythm or hitting the steering wheel with her fingers along to the beat. Just by that, Hope had the feeling this wouldn't be their last time listening to music together.

After half an hour, Amy finally parked the car after driving around the blocks in walking distance of the restaurant she wanted to go to. The music stopped and the both of them got out of the car. After locking it again, Amy gave Hope her keys back.

“Oh, so I get to drive us back?”, she asked playfully.

“We'll see about that.”, Amy flirted.

Amy took Hope's hand, without thinking about it and led the taller girl to the restaurant. Luckily they only had to walk another three minutes until they stood in front of the place called 'Merchants Riverhouse'.

They entered and it had this fisher's look with all the blue and white stripes. The bar was open and not one chair was empty in front of it. Through the big windows you could see the Hudson River and on the other side probably New Jersey.

“Table for Antsler.”, Amy told the waiter.

He looked through the reservations and led them through the glass door heading outside. They were seated on these blue cushioned seats made from euro pallets and the wooden table in front of them fitted just perfectly. Hope felt a little lost hearing and seeing the river flow by so easily.

“Welcome to the Riverhouse. These are your menus.”, the waiter said and handed them out, “My name is Kyle, I'll be your waiter tonight. Anything to drink?”

“I'll have a Iced Tea, please.”, Hope answered him.

“We have peach, citron or pomegranate.”, Kyle listed for Hope.

“Peach, please.”

“And for me, citron.”, Amy barged in. Kyle nodded happily and walked away.

“So you're a citron person?”, Hope asked her flirty.

“It tastes way better than peach.”, Amy played along.

“Well... seems like you don't have the best taste then.”, Hope answered.

“I'm on a date with you, so I'm pretty sure my taste isn't that bad.”, Amy flirted smoothly.

Hope had to blush a little. She thanked God that Kyle came back so quickly before Amy would find out about her being all flustered. He put the drinks down in front of them and wrote down their orders. Both of them ordered the Signature Burger the place was serving.

They talked about Hope's sisters and even more music. Just like that Hope told Amy about her first concert. The artist she was seeing was Avril Lavigne and the adrenaline rush afterwards made her want to play her father's guitar which she proudly called Avril. Amy had never been to a concert before without a protest happening. Hope had to admit that she had never been to a protest so they guessed you could call them equal.

“So you play the guitar?”, Amy asked to make sure.

“Yeah.”

“So do I! Might be a bit weird but I think we should play together.”, Amy suggested.

“I like that idea-”

Amy's phone vibrated. She told Hope to ignore it but as the phone was making noises over and over again, Hope insisted she would see what the emergency was.

**Molly:** _Amy_

_hey_

_hey_

_hey_

_answer_

_answer_

_Jared and I need to know if it's okay if we come over next weekend._

_Did you ask Hope?_

**Amy:** _Chill dude, I'm on a date. Jeez!_

“Apparently, Molly and Jared want to come over for the double date next weekend.”, Amy told Hope.

“That's alright.”, Hope shrugged, not really knowing what else to say.

**Amy:** _She says it's okay._

_And now shut the fuck up!_

Amy put her phone on silent so she could enjoy her night. Hope and Amy talked about movies and TV shows, their favorite artists and actors. They got along so well that the time flew by so quickly they couldn't believe their food was already arriving.

They ate in silent, only commenting how awesome this burger tasted. Both laughing while eating it because honestly, no one can eat a big burger without making a mess.

“What part do you want to travel to next?”, Amy asked the travel spirit as they both finished their burgers.

“Asia”, Hope simply answered. “It was on my list for the Europe trip actually.”

“What part of Asia?”, the smaller girl asked interested.

“Definitely the Chinese Wall but also... Thailand or Vietnam.”, Hope listed.

“My parents and I flew to Japan when I was little. I can barely remember it.”

“Amazing story.”, Hope encountered playfully. “What about you though?”

“What about me?”

“What do you want to see?”, Hope repeated her question differently.

“I've been dreaming of seeing the Niagara falls.”, Amy said.

“I do have a car and it's like seven hours from here.”, Hope answered subtle.

“We can't just drive there now.”, Amy encountered.

“Not now!”, Hope laughed, “But maybe in a few weeks, after mid-term.”

“We'll see about that.”

Kyle brought the recite and Amy took it. Hope was pouting but Amy reminded her of the twelve step program. The taller girl shook her head, not believing Amy was actually pulling this crap. Amy ignored Hope and after Kyle gave the credit card back to Amy, the both of them got up and walked to the car.

“So... who is driving?”, Amy asked, hoping Hope would let her drive again.

Just by handing the smaller girl the keys, Amy made a little victory dance.

Driving them back safely, she thought about the fact that the night was about to end. And she wasn't a fan of that idea. Amy didn't mean to have sex again but sleeping and waking up next to Hope just felt great.

“So... you want to sleep over?”, Amy asked shyly as they closed the car doors.

“Really?”, Hope flirted playfully.

“Not to like... do anything but I...”, Amy stuttered, “I just liked you being there.”

“I liked being there too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been researching a lot about New York City and actually tried to look up restaurants and shit. Honestly, I invest more time in this story than in my college papers. But I like having passion for writing.
> 
> For my idea for the third step of Amy's plan, I probably have to look up even more. We'll see how long it takes me.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Leave a comment if you liked it!


	6. you saved me from my brain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On this particular Friday, a tall beautiful girl takes out her girl crush for a movie date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> With everything going on, I hope you guys are healthy and safe!
> 
> This chapter was difficult and took long because I basically had to read the first 100 pages of the new Hunger Games book - which I totally recommend and since I don't have much time at the moment, it took longer than expected. I'm really sorry!  
> BIG SPOILER WARNING FOR THE HUNGER GAMES TRILOGY - not so much for the new book though.
> 
> Leave a comment if you liked the chapter and leave suggestions! :)

**Chapter Six**

Amy and Hope have been dating for one week now. Most of the week they didn't really see each other but both of them blew up the other one's phone. Amy had the feeling she had never been starring so much at her little mobile device. She really tried to study as much as she could but Hope kept on popping up in her mind and on her screen.

Today was different. Instead of Amy taking out Hope, the taller girl wanted to make one of her many date ideas happen.

**Hope** : _I want to take you out this time_

**Amy:** _But I haven't earned it yet! :(_  
  


**Hope:** _Stop making this a big apology gesture and let me take you out_

_Actually I'm just informing you that I will take you out this afternoon_

**Amy:** _Oh, so I don't even get to decide what I do with my free time anymore?_

**Hope:** _Nope. Because this relationship needs some equality._

**Amy:** _Relationship?_

**Hope:** _Well, we do have some relation to one another._

Later Amy and Hope walked to her car which has been standing where Amy parked it last Saturday. Hope basically never uses it because she preferred the subway and most of the time she doesn't leave campus at all. New York was just too much traffic for everyone and Hope isn't the most patient person. But this is different cause the car is necessary for the drive-in theater. Hope looked over at Amy before starting the engine and smiled a little.

“I'm really looking forward to this.”, she said.

“Me too”, Amy smiled back and her heart just skipped a beat.

Hope started the car and Amy connected her phone with the car's Bluetooth.

“Is that okay with you?”, she asked before playing some music. She didn't know what had gotten into her, she didn't even ask.

“Of course, I really like your music actually. Have been listening to the artists you like.”

Hearing that from Hope made Amy smile a little.

“Really?”, she actually couldn't believe it. Hope had a really extraordinary taste in music and only ever hears Alternative or Indie music. Mostly by unknown bands. “Who did you listen to?”

“Bastille and Twenty One Pilots. I always thought they were too mainstream but now I kinda understand why they are popular.”

After that being said, Amy knew that this was going to be a good car ride with the volume up playing the best Bastille Songs. Hope listened carefully and Amy sang along loudly. Hope couldn't handle Amy and just had to laugh. Amy tried to make her sing with her but she shook her head and emphasized on the fact that she needed to concentrate on driving. After a few minutes, as they stopped at a red light, Amy played a little with Hope's hand laying on the gearshift. She drew little circles all over it and they both shared a moment of silence as the song was coming to end.  
As Amy's gaze drifted back to Hope's eyes she saw that Hope had been staring at her the whole time.

“What was that all about, nerd?”, Hope smirked.

“Oh... well, I-I actually think you-ou have beautiful hands and... really soft skin.”, Amy stuttered. Hope immediately laughed at the cute response and the shyness in it.

“Thank you. It's called lotion, you know. You should try it.”, Hope joked around.

“So... what movie are we even watching?”, Amy asked.

Hope and Amy talked about movies and told each other how cute they thought the idea for a movie date would be so she immediately planned the whole thing. After the first date, this time Amy tried to find out about what they were doing together but Hope just couldn't stand not telling her at all. It was a really hard decision on what to wear because the weather in New York is so different to Los Angeles and late fall was coming up. Of course Hope was wearing her iconic jacket with a white t-shirt underneath and a light-blue jeans. Amy decided to wear a dark green pullover with a black jeans and to bring her jean jacket in case she was getting cold.

“Well, I'm not gonna tell you but I think you will like it.”, Hope answered and stoke out her tongue.

“You're being unfair, really.”, Amy pouted.

“You didn't tell me last week, so no whining. You'll see for yourself anyway.”

After another fifteen minutes, they pulled up to a giant parking spot. Right in front of them cars were waiting in line to get their tickets checked. Hope grabbed their tickets from the inside pocket of her jacket and handed them over to Amy. Who immediately ripped them out of her hand and read the movie title.

“Oh my god, we are watching the new Hunger Games movie?!?”, Amy squealed in excitement.

“The story of the growing Hunger Games and President Snow. Thought it might be a nice movie for us.”, Hope said.

“I love it.”, Amy smiled. “Honestly I think you couldn't have picked a better one.”

They exchange stories on how they first saw the trilogy and of course Amy and Molly watched it together and discussed the topics of an oppressed society and dictatorship. Amy really felt inspired by Katniss finding loopholes to destroy the government in the first movie.

“Making them stop the games even though two people are still alive was a badass move”, Amy remembers. Amy is also a useless lesbian and couldn't do anything about the fact that Jennifer Lawrence looked really hot doing archery.

“The ending of the second movie had me shocked when Peeta tried to kill Katniss. I felt her pain.”, Hope said.

“You felt her pain?”, Amy asked.

“Oh... yeah.”, Hope suddenly seemed insecure. “That must be really bad, you know?”

Amy had been picking up on signals that Hope had been pushing a lot of pain down. Amy sensed that Hope was not telling her something but it probably was non of her business and she would never push anyone to spill their secrets. Well, no one except for Molly maybe but in 99% of the time Molly tells her everything before she could push her, so.

After waiting in line behind the other cars for almost ten minutes they finally got their tickets checked and Hope drove them to their assigned spot in the second row. Because no one was behind them at the moment, Hope parked with the screen facing the back of the car.

“What are you doing?”, Amy asked surprised.

“I thought it would be nice to lay down”, Hope answered vaguely.

“Lay down?”

Hope got out of the car and invited Amy to see for herself. She opened the trunk and Amy saw lots of blankets and pillows with a little basket filled with snacks inside of it.

“Oh no, you didn't!”, Amy gasped.

“Yes. I did. Movies without snacks are garb and I thought it might get cold.”, Hope laughed.

They folded down the back seats and set out the blankets and pillows so they could comfortably watch the movie while laying down. Amy thought Hope couldn't be any cuter for thinking of every little detail. She even bought salted popcorn because Amy told her she always preferred it over sweet popcorn.

“This is amazing.”, Amy smiled towards Hope who was just laying down on all the pillows checking if they were finally good to go.

“You are amazing”, Hope answered and waved Amy over to her. Amy put the popcorn down and climbed into the back of the car. Hope laid her arm out and Amy snuggled into her side. They shared a look, smile and kissed each other softly.

“This proves that you're totally whipped”, Amy whispered provocatively against the taller girl's lips and smiled even bigger.

“You are so dead, nerd.”, Hope encountered and started tickling the shit out of Amy who couldn't keep quiet. After less than a minute of laughing loudly, all of the sudden the car door opened and someone sat down in the front seat.

“I really didn't want to invade your privacy, Hope, but Amy and I are soulmates.”, Gigi said and looked at them without blinking. “I really think we should get matching tattoos and make a quick summoning dance to the dark spirits. I can't wait any longer for the dark, my skin is burning so badly.”

“Gigi, what the hell?”, Hope just asked quietly. “Get out of my car, what the fuck?”

“I couldn't resist my soulmate's energy, I had to come here and see if Amy was being tortured. I knew something was wrong and now I need to take my vitamins and experience the ultimate flash mob by dancing all the 500 participants alone. Amy, I think you should watch me and tell me if the souls in my body escaped afterwards, you're the only one who sees the world just as I do”, Gigi babbled while Hope and Amy shared some confused looks during her monologue.

“Gigi, fuck...”, Hope started but was cut off by Amy.

“Look... Gigi, I think I can watch you dance before the movie starts. We could play some music from your car and maybe just danced the day away since the movie won't start until it's dark enough. It will be fun.”

Already getting up, Amy saw how Hope rolled her eyes and sighed deeply. It wasn't Amy's favorite way of spending time with her either but she knew, they wouldn't get rid of Gigi otherwise (which isn't suppose to sound mean).

Gigi started the music playing from Amy's phone still plugged in. She turned the volume up and opened the window and climbed through it onto the roof.

Only a few seconds into dancing, Jared comes running towards them and weirdly shows Amy victory signs to greet her.

“Hey Jared.”, she just said.

“Gigi, I have been looking everywhere for you! But what a kick-ass dance party!”, he screams over the loud music.

Gigi seemed like she didn't hear him and just kept on dancing on top of the car. Hope was still laying in the back of the car and watched as the dance on the roof made her car erupt. People started to look towards them but they just laughed at Gigi and minded their own businesses.

“Why isn't Molly with you?”, Amy talked to her best friend's boyfriend.

“She preferred to study.”, Jared answered. “We'll be in New York again tomorrow, as you know. I bet she would have come if she knew you guys would be here too.”

“Maybe, we will never know.”, Amy chuckled.

“I know it's probably weird for you that she and I are dating...”

“I do recall that she kissed you on stage during graduation.”, Amy reminded him.

Jared seemed very different than the high school person he used to be. His language and style changed a lot and obviously Molly had a few adjustments to make. She told Amy once that she had a fight with Jared because he was wearing his cap again and he literally cried. Of course, afterwards he never wore it again but Molly never commented his style ever again.

A new song came up and Amy couldn't resist and had to dance just as well. She took Jared's hands and made him dance with her, not really knowing what else to do. She screamed the lyrics on top of her lungs and to her surprise Jared knew them as well.

“Hope, come on. Just one song!”, Amy encouraged her but Hope looked up from her phone, just shook her head and stayed inside the car. After fifteen minutes Hope got out of the car and leaned against the side watching Amy, Jared and Gigi dancing around each other. Other people even cheered at them and clapped when Jared and Gigi did some hideous dancing routine which totally has been trained before.

The sun was setting slowly and they had been dancing for a good half an hour now. Hope was watching them and laughing to herself when someone touched her shoulder.

“Not much of a dancer?”, a big guy with dark-blond hair asked her and laughed a little.

“I think I would make them look worse.”, Hope answered sarcastically.

“You sure about that? I bet you can dance pretty good.”, he said smirking.

He was clearly flirting with her and Hope really didn't like where this was going.

“How the hell would you know? You've known me for like two minutes and didn't even ask for my name or anything.”, she responded sharply.

“Hey, didn't mean to make you uncomfortable in any way. I'm Justin and I thought I would invite you over to my car, maybe drinking a beer and getting to know each other a little better?”, he offered, clearly not picking up on the signals Hope was sending him.

“Well... Justin, I don't know who the hell you or what the hell you think you are doing but you can totally step away now because the girl you're talking to is my date so fuck off.”

Amy suddenly appeared and looked very angry. She was clearly being jealous but also helping Hope escaping this exhausting situation.

“Wow! Sorry, I didn't know you were gay.”, he said and put up his hand in defense.

“Well, she isn't! Sexuality is a spectrum, you know? There is more than straight and gay. Maybe instead of bothering girls with your flirtation, try cracking up a book at some point.”, Amy yelled out again.

“You made the love of my life very furious. You need to disappear right now, you evil spirit.”, Gigi said and drew a cross in the air right in front of him.

“This is getting too crazy for me.”, he turned around and left without saying another word.

Amy looked at Hope who bit her lip because she thought Amy standing up for her sexuality and their relationship was truly hot.

“I'm glad you two are girlfriends for each other. Amy, I will rip Hope's face off if you need me to do it. I will sense it from afar if your beating heart is breaking.”, Gigi said while squishing Amy's face. “But we are going back to the car. Can't wait for the premiere of this spectacle.”

Jared and Gigi walked away and Amy and Hope got back into the car, snuggling into each other's arms.

“Did Gigi just say we are girlfriends?”, Amy asked.

“I think so.”, Hope said. “But that doesn't define our relationship.”

“That's not what I meant.”, Amy frowned. “I just hope she doesn't tell Jared who talks to Molly...”

“...Amy, chill out. Molly knows we are dating. And someone who believes Gigi more than you is crazy.”, Hope interrupted the overthinking of the smaller girl. “It's been one week.”

“Feels like more than that.”, Amy whispered.

Hope kissed the freckled girl passionately. She felt the same thing, even though it has only been one week she had the feeling she had known Amy for months.

“It does.”, Hope whispered back.

“Have you read the book?”, Amy changed the subject.

“Is there any book I haven't read?”, Hope bragged smirkingly. “What book?”

“The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes”, Amy responded.

“Yeah, I loved the trilogy and read the new one in less than one day.”, Hope answered. “What about you?”

“Molly read it to me.”, Amy said and blushed a little.

“What?”, Hope chuckled confused.

“I was in Botswana when it came out and she read it to me over the phone.”, Amy explained, even more ashamed because Hope laughed a little.

“You guys are so weird.”, Hope answered.

“Studies show that loud reading is a benefit for both participants.”, Amy justified her actions. “And having someone reading to you is so calming and sweet, I love it.”

“My mother used to read to me.”, Hope wallowed in her memories, “Otherwise I read to my sisters.”

“Well... I would really like to read to you sometime.”, Amy offered and leaned over to kiss the taller girl.

“Hm... I think I'd like that.”, Hope said, talking about the kiss instead.

“Being read to is awesome. I have a thing for audio books.”, Amy admitted.

“So... Harry Potter – the books or the audio books?”, Hope asked, for her, the most relevant question.

“I have never read, heard or seen anything from Harry Potter”, Amy answered.

“You what?”, Hope felt like the world was messing with her. “You haven't even seen the movies?”

“I saw the first one once but it was like twelve years ago.”

“I'm going to read the first Harry Potter book to you right now.”, Hope said and got up. She looked inside the front door and reached for the book she kept in her car. Joy had a phase when she read it whenever she could. She read it when they were driving to school, back home, going grocery shopping or visiting grandma, it didn't matter. Hope loved her littlest sister even more for it because she was just as obsessed with the Harry Potter books as she was herself.

“Really?”, Amy asked, not sure Hope wasn't messing around.

Hope took the book and laid back down. She cleared her throat and stated the title of the book.

“Oh my gosh, you are actually doing it!”, Amy laughed and snuggled back into her date's chest.

“Chapter one. The boy who lived. Mister and Misses Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much...”, Hope read out the first sentence.

Hope had a lovely reading voice and further into the book, Amy could tell this wasn't the first time Hope was reading it because she read the voices of the characters differently. Which made Amy laugh whenever Hagrid was saying something.

***  
  
The lights next to the big white screen went dark signaling the start of the movie. Hope stopped reading as soon as she realized Amy wasn't paying attention anymore. She heard people cheering and whistling about the screen starting to present the movie. Everyone just seemed so excited.

“Are you one of those people who comments on the movie?”, Amy asked.

“I normally just watch it silently.”, Hope wondered.

“Thank God! Molly always makes comments about everything and honestly... you can't go to the cinema with her. This one time after like three minutes, Molly had been talking so much the person next to us asked if she could be quiet and as she started talking like one minute later, the person looked out for another seat.”, Amy narrated.

Hope just laughed and imagined an angry Molly commenting about the subtle topics in a movie to Amy who tried to avoid answering.

The movie started and they watched in comfortable silence, only gasping and exchanging looks from time to time.

***  
  
“So what do you think?”, Amy asked the taller girl as the credits ended.

“The book was better.”, Hope commented.

“I really loved Lucy Gray. But I already liked her in the book, so.”

“I was fascinated how the movie showed how poor he actually used to be. Still unbelievable to me that President Snow used to have nothing. So strange.”, Hope told her opinion.

“I thought the same thing but his opinion and position had to come from somewhere. It's still unbelievable to me that Suzanne Collins created Panem, a country where children are threatened by the government to keep the rebels under control and to remind them what happened.”, Amy stated.

“I believe that's what I like about the Hunger Games, they never fail to surprise me.”, Hope smiled. “Remember when Prime died and President Snow told Katniss that the attack wasn't ordered by the capitol? I was mind blown!”

Amy laughed at Hope's comment. She had so much fun just talking to the other girl. They were still cuddling in the back of Hope's car as the first cars tried to exit the parking lot.

Both of the girls felt no hurry at all. They enjoyed each others company and the comfortable silence laying around them. It has only been a short amount of time since they started dating but already the third date and the fireworks couldn't be ignored.

Hope's mind drifted off to the topic of their first real interaction when Amy stormed into the bathroom of Nick's party where Hope wanted to smoke her joint in private. The universe was a dick in this case because of all people her long time crush had to come in and almost started crying. And the hero Hope is, she couldn't keep her mouth shut about the freckled girl. She really wanted to know what Amy thought when she kissed her out of the blue and primarily out of context.

“I know you said you never want to talk about our first kiss again but... I do have questions.”, Hope whispered into the darkness.

“I like that you describe it as our first kiss”, Amy said, feeling less ashamed than usual when someone brings up the incident.

“Well... it was our first kiss?!”, Hope argued smilingly.

“It was my first-first kiss.”, Amy reminded herself.

“I think that's sweet.”, Hope answered and looked deeply into Amy's eyes.

“If you think so...”, she blushed a little, “but what questions do you have?”

Hope felt surprised that Amy was obviously okay with talking about it.

“I really want to know why you kissed me in the first place.”, Hope said and reached for the smaller girl's hand.

“I certainly wish I had an answer for that question.”, Amy laughed.

“You have no clue?”

“Could be anything. My interpretation of the situation or... I don't know the universe or maybe even God.”, Amy explained further.

“You believe in God?”, Hope asked surprised.

“I can neither confirm nor deny that there is a God.”, Amy answered neutrally.

“You're such a nerd.”, Hope said and leaned forward, making a move on Amy.

The smaller girl accepted Hope's offer gladly and closed the space between them. Their lips smashed together and tongues collided as both of them have been thinking about this for the entire movie.

Hope turned them around so she was lying on top of the smaller girl and pressed the button next to her, so the trunk door would shut automatically. She kissed Amy passionately and reached for the smaller girl's hands, putting them over her head and pinning them down with one hand. She could feel that Amy's body was starting to tense up and just by the thought of that, Hope's vagina drew attention to herself.

Hope started to kiss down Amy's neck and tried to make the smaller girl moan – successfully. Amy's moans were music to the other girl's ears and as she started kissing and sucking on Amy's skin harder, the smaller girl grabbed Hope's butt.

Amy felt like the world stopped as Hope kept on kissing her neck. She knew where this might be going but being in the parking lot of a drive-in cinema with at least one hundred other cars around them was kind of a mood killer. As Hope pulled on Amy's t-shirt she had to stop her.

“Wait...”, Amy said which made Hope stop immediately.

“Is everything alright?”, Hope asked, a little panicked she made Amy uncomfortable.

“Totally, really. I want you... so, so badly. But like not here?”, Amy commented shyly.

“So... you want to go back to your dorm?”, Hope asked and felt really weird doing it.

“It's weird to plan such a thing, don't you think?”

“Indeed.”, Hope nodded, “Let's just go back and see what happens?”

Amy smiled and kissed the taller girl one last time before they climbed into the front seats. There were still plenty of cars waiting to drive through the exit.

“Did you sleep with another girl?”, Amy asked as they buckled up their seatbelts.

“Where is that question coming from?”, Hope was shocked.

“It's weird but I feel like you have experience in pleasuring girls.”, Amy admitted.

“Why?”

“Because I can confirm you know what you're doing...”, Amy laughed while her face turned reddish.

“Trust me... I feel the same way about you.”, Hope tried to comfort the other girl.

“But I wouldn't avoid the question... so I guess you did sleep with someone else.”, Amy responded confidently.

“I did.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I slept with three girls. I met this girl in the middle of nowhere in Italy who basically offered me a fun night and there was this girl in Morocco who I immediately connected with. I'm not one hundred percent sure but you could consider it a relationship – which lasted less than one week I think.”, Hope summarized her experience.

“Who is the third girl?”, Amy asked.

“You... obviously.”, Hope chuckled.

“When did we have sex?”, Amy was so confused.

“The night before graduation?”

“You count that as sex?”, Amy's eyebrows shot up.

“Don't you?”, Hope encountered, feeling a little hurt.

“Well... nothing really happened?”, Amy remembered.

“I was naked, you were naked and you fingered me. Sounds like sex to me.”, Hope stated honestly.

“If you say it that way... it does sound like sex.”, Amy admitted.

“Well... if you truly label it, it was basically unintentional anal sex.”, Hope laughed.

“My first time was anal. Great.”, Amy sighed.

“But like I said before... you knew what you were doing.”

“It's still hard to take that as a compliment.”, the smaller girl shook her head.

“You don't have to... even though you should.”, Hope teased the freckled girl.

“Did you ever sleep with a guy?”, Amy asked as they finally exited the parking lot.

“Why are you so interested in my sexual past all of a sudden?”, Hope encountered laughingly.

“Sexual pressure?”, Amy answered honestly.

She knew what Ling Ling liked because she made up her whole personality but having a real human being who clearly wanted to sleep with her was a different kind of level. The panic in her mind was growing and she didn't really know how to describe the feeling differently. She never watched porn besides the one Molly and her got away with as their principal was driving them around town. And that was for educational purposes. Of course Amy and Hope got to know each other better but this was the first time they ever really talked about this specific topic.

“If you feel pressured, you aren't ready.”, Hope answered, knowing she wasn't ready.

“I don't think I'll ever be ready if that's the case.”, Amy responded jokingly. “But you didn't answer my question – again.”

“I'll answer your question if you promise me that we don't have sex until you feel ready.”, Hope offered.

“Well... I promise I'm ready!”, Amy pouted.

Hope focused onto the surprisingly empty streets of New York City as the green light lit up. She didn't like the thought that Amy felt some sort of pressure considering their second first time when she had to convince herself over and over again that having sex with John – her first ever boyfriend – wasn't the biggest mistake she ever made. John pressured her in a nice way that they should try it out and afterwards she immediately felt like John was the most horrible person alive for doing this to her in the first place.

“I was fourteen and his name was John. I still think I never wanted it but he convinced me that that we should try.”, Hope spoke openly.

“And you weren't ready?”

“Not at all...”, Hope scoffed, “Still can't believe how dumb I was.”

“I'm really sorry to hear that. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.”, Amy apologized for asking the question in the first place.

“No, it's fine. It's been a long time and I learned a lot from it.”, Hope smiled.

“Sounds like you did.”, Amy smiled back while Hope drove around campus to find a parking spot.

“So... do you want to watch the trilogy of the Hunger Games?”, Hope suggested.

“I sure as hell do!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might be mean for teasing sex scenes but trust me there are going to be some.
> 
> Next chapter will be the double date with Molly and Jared so be prepared!
> 
> Have a nice day and stay safe! <3


	7. welcome to new york

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly and Jared visit big apple to see Amy and Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I really have a thing for New York but I still don't know anything about it, so it took a lot of time to research to make this as realistic as possible. I hope it was worth it!
> 
> I might have to say that I don't have a clue about the American college system so some facts are probably bullshit :D
> 
> Enjoy!

**Chapter Seven**

Nothing had happened between the two girls that night. Amy took Hope's hand on their way to her dorm room which still felt like a huge step for them. Hope took of her pants and bra and Amy changed into her pyjamas. They laid down and put the notebook between them. Both of them had this feeling in their chest, making everything a little uncomfortable. Normally silence between them felt peacefully but this time there was this unknowing tension. Not knowing if something was about to happen or not was really bothering – both of them. Neither wanted to make the other girl mad or feel pressured.

As soon as Hope and Amy started the movie, they began to yawn, feeling the weight of a long week in college on their shoulders. They loved learning and having people their age around them but everything was just new and a lot to take in. Hope fell asleep like ten minutes into the movie after she saw that Amy tried hard to keep her eyes open. Even though she could have stayed awake, she wanted Amy to sleep and to escape the situation.

***  
  
The next morning went a little differently. Today they were going on a double date with Molly and Jared which still seemed super awkward. But who would have guessed the nerdy feminist and the cold bitch end up dating at some time? The heart just has it's own rules.

Amy woke up, laying on her left and faced the beautiful brunette sleeping in front of her. She had to admit this couldn't compete with waking up next to anyone else. Hope sleeping peacefully was the most perfect image and it made Amy smile widely.

Slowly she turned around a little to see the time. For a Saturday morning it was early, 9:20am. Turning back, the bed made a loud cracking noise and Hope frowned. Amy mouthed the F-word hoping she didn't wake her date.

Hope's eyes opened and closed a few times before they stayed open completely. The taller girl looked at Amy confused.

“What time is it?”, she yawned.

“Nine.”, Amy whispered.

“Why are you up?”, Hope asked and struggled to stay fully awake.

“Guess I'm an early bird sometimes.”, Amy said quietly.

Hope liked people who woke up early. She had to get up and most of them would understand what it meant to use the extra morning hours. After years of getting up almost two hours before her sisters, she still struggled with it. Sometimes her body was just not acting the way she needed it to.

“Well... what would you do if I wasn't here?”, Hope asked.

Amy could look at a sleepy Hope forever. She thought Hope smiled like a goofball after she woke up. Well... Hope had stayed over three times now but just by that Amy knew that Hope liked to sleep with less clothes. Because every time her shirt slid up to her breasts, managing to reveal some underboob which didn't bother Amy at all.

Amy knew what she would do if Hope wasn't there, probably something lame like getting up to study or like probably calling Molly. The real question is whether she would do it while a hot girl was laying in her bed with almost no clothes on? And the answer to that question was given as Amy pulled Hope in for a kiss.

Hope held Amy's waist in her left hand as she kissed back passionately. She wasn't really catching up what exactly lead to this but she wasn't going to interrupt. Amy's hands found their way under Hope's shirt and the heartbeat of the taller brunette was getting faster. Hope loved the situation, every little detail about it but she wasn't able to just ignore the fact that Amy felt pressured yesterday.

“Hey, hey... wait a second!”, she pulled herself away from Amy's lips. Amy just nodded.

“Are you ready?”, Hope breathed heavily.

“I really want to.”, Amy nodded enthusiastically.

And these four words were perfectly enough for Hope to take off her shirt. Amy did the same thing with her short pyjama pants and threw them next to Hope's white shirt. As she wanted to take off her shirt, Hope took her hands and made her look into her eyes.

“Let me take that off.”, she said and pulled the shirt over Amy's head.

Amy and Hope shared a laugh and gazed at each other for only a few seconds. They may have had sex before but they have never seen the other ones boobs. Which is kind of unbelievable in the real world.

“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.”, Hope complimented Amy, she was indeed totally whipped.

“Well... who allowed you to take my breath away?”, Amy complimented back.

Hope laid on top of Amy and started kissing her again. Slower than before but for her it felt very emotional and content. In a way she felt safe and right in the moment, like nothing really mattered besides her and Amy right now.

Amy's hands slid up and down Hope's back very softly. She touched the taller ones butt and started kissing her harder. Amy knew she was being horny and maybe a little forward but honestly she wanted to experience Hope in every way. Mind, soul and right now... body.

But as Hope's hands slowly took off Amy's panties, Amy was starting to get more nervous. Even though she knew it was true, the fact that she already had her first time didn't apply to her. This felt like the first time because it was the first time anyone was pleasuring her.

Hope's thumb slowly drove over the smaller girl's clitoris. Amy moaned loudly into the kiss they shared. She had to admit it felt good and as Hope rolled over it and made it turn, she was getting hotter and hotter. The taller girl let her other fingers move up and down between her inner labia which made Amy's body shiver.

With her right thumb on Amy's clit and her fingers all over her vagina, Hope could feel that the freckled girl was more than wet. And pleasuring a girl this successfully was a proud surprise to Hope as well. She really liked the idea of making Amy wet fast because often Amy made her wet just by kissing her with tongue.

Slowly she shoved her index and middle finger inside her date and held a steady rhythm to discover what the other girl liked. Amy was moaning quietly and felt a little pain making her frown. She sighed deeply and really hoped it wouldn't stay. Hope slowed down cautiously to the point Amy relaxed again.

“Still okay?”, Hope wanted to be totally sure.

“It hurts a little...”, Amy answered honestly. “But during... during an... orgasm... the body releases... endorphins”

Amy stuttered with the rhythm of Hope's steady fingers. The taller girl listened to the little know-it-all respectfully, letting her finish her sentence even though she had struggle speaking.

“Tell me what you like...”, Hope whispered into Amy's ear.

“This.”, only one word came out of her mouth while her body started sweating a little.

Instead of responding with some crappy comment, Hope kissed Amy passionately. She deepen the kiss by smashing their tongues together. Amy certainly was trying to catch her breath and giving her best at kissing back. She had to admit, it wasn't as weird as she thought it might be but she definitely had to learn a lot more. She had never experienced anything like this, she had nothing to compare this situation to.

Amy wanted to scream out the Lord's name so badly but either Hope was kissing her or she wasn't able to speak properly anymore. All words became noises and by noises she meant moans. Hope had such a power over her – which was kind of crazy. But right now, she couldn't be more thankful for it.

Hope's hand felt like it was vibrating after a while which clearly was a sign for the beautiful brunette to make her date scream her name. It was a Saturday morning so most college students basically are still in a coma. Would be the perfect opportunity for a sexy scream to mess with some of them. And as Amy's arms wrapped around her neck and pulled her closer, Hope fastened the rhythm. Her thumb was turning and her fingers pushing hard so Amy was struggling not to scream. Hope's lips kissed down her cheek and neck, sucking on it. It wouldn't leave a hickey but it was enough to support the work downstairs. Amy was definitely coming to an end of this episode because her whole body was tensing up right now and as the tension was released, she sneezed to her left.

“You sneeze?”, Hope chuckled a little, thinking how cute it would be.

“Sometimes, yeah...”, she answered and smiled a little. “By the way...”

“What?”, Hope chuckled as Amy turned them upside down.

“This relationship needs some equality.”, Amy quoted the text Hope sent her yesterday.

“Relationship?”, Hope laughed and pulled the beautiful girl in front of her down and into a lovely kiss.

Amy's body was still tense and felt like the adrenaline was pumping through her veins – which was probably the reason why she didn't have a nervous breakdown because she was starting to pleasure her 'girlfriend'.

She tried to remember what Hope did to her so she could recreate the situation. Amy read this article that people usually try what they like at their sexual partner. There weren't any statistical studies included but in this situation Amy wanted to believe it. There was this one little moan escaping Hope's lips as Amy's left hand squeezed her boob lightly. And just by rolling Hope's nipple around, the taller girl didn't kiss back anymore because she had to catch her breath again.

“So... you like that?”, Amy whispered and smirked.

“Yeah”, Hope moaned as Amy twirled her thumb around her nipples faster.

Amy kissed Hope's neck, she had a new plan and wanted to try something. She build up all her courage by hearing the small moans of the girl underneath her and started sucking on her left nipple while her right hand traveled down to Hope's vagina. The tall brunette was tensing up and Amy could feel that in between her thighs, the party was heating. She pushed two fingers inside of Hope's vagina who yelled out an aroused scream.

“Oh my God!”, she screamed and her heartbeat was rumbling in her chest.

Amy's confidence rose up to a level where she couldn't believe what happened right this moment. She stopped playing with Hope's nipple and looked into her eyes.

“Tell me what you want me to do”, Amy whispered.

“Don't stop...”, Hope said quietly.

Amy focused on the other nipple this time and fastened the rhythm inside Hope. The girl was shivering underneath her and Amy felt really powerful. She would never admit it but maybe she had some skills. At least with Hope being the other part of the story. The taller girl was tensing up under her and as Amy pushed even harder and faster, the taller girl gasped loudly to the point when her body started to relax. Amy immediately stopped as Hope's body fell down on the bed.

“Everything alright?”

“Perfect.”, Hope answered and smiled, trying to relax.

Amy rolled of the taller brunette and kissed her cheek. She knew it wasn't perfect but both of them liked it and it wasn't an as entertaining story as their unintentional anal sex.

“You are awesome.”, Hope said and starred to the ceiling of Amy's dorm. “I really like when people play with my nipples.”

“I figured.”, Amy said proudly.

And just as both of them started making out to complete successfully, Amy's phone started vibrating loudly.

“Ugh! Who is that?!”, Amy yelled frustrated.

She reached for her phone and looked at the screen. Well, well, well... of course Molly would call to make sure everything for today was prepared. Amy felt weird to answer the phone without clothes on but how would anyone besides her and Hope know about it?

“Hello?”, she greeted her best friend, a little pissed because of the situation.

“Hey Amy! I hope I didn't wake you...”, the former school president responded.

“No, I have been up for like an hour.”

“Great. Have you talked to Hope today because... SURPRISE! Jared and I are coming in like twenty minutes.”

“YOU ARE WHAT?!”, Amy felt like punching her best friend in the face sometimes.

All of them agreed to meet around early afternoon, not in the morning. Classic Molly, just doing whatever she wants without asking the people involved.

“See you!”, Molly hung up as fast as possible and Amy inhaled deeply.

“We have to get dressed immediately.”, she stated after groaning.

“Why?”, Hope asked, still getting up and looking out for her clothes.

“Molly and Jared are here in like twenty minutes...”

“I thought they would come around 2pm?”, Hope asked confused.

“So did I! So was the plan!”, Amy felt like she was freaking out while searching for new clothes inside her closet. She was all sweaty from the warm night and the even hotter morning.

“You think I could shower quickly?”, Hope asked, holding onto her clothes.

“Only if I get to join...”, Amy suggested confidently.

Instead of giving an answer, the taller girl just took Amy's hand and lead her into the bathroom, placing her clothes next to the sink. Amy got into the shower while Hope followed her. The water was running down their bodies and both of them minded their own business for a moment.

“So... do you want me to wash your hair?”, Hope offered shyly.

“Honestly, I would love to but I think we should just hurry up...”, Amy declined sadly and added, “Molly means the twenty minutes and we should definitely be ready then.”

“Molly kinda controls your normally smart mind.”, Hope encountered.

“She does have a power over me.”

Amy and Hope showered in under ten minutes and got dressed as fast as possible. The wet hair definitely stated that they showered and knowing Molly she would figure out faster than everyone else that these showers weren't separated. Hope definitely rocked the clothes from last night as well as the day before and looked gorgeous.

“I really liked earlier.”, Amy said because they didn't get a chance to talk about it.

“I did, too.”, Hope answered, “But I'd like to speak about it again.”

“But not... in a bad way?”

“Not at all. Communication is just key.”, Hope smiled.

They heard a loud knock on the door and instead of waiting for permission to come in, Molly just swung the door open and hugged her best friend tightly.

“You look amazing!”, she squealed inside the freckled girl's ear.

Amy wore her hair down, still wet from the quick shower, with a bordeaux colored blouse under a light gray sweater with a dark jeans. She wouldn't say the outfit was special but she really enjoyed how it made her feel.

Hope just stood there and waited as Molly hugged the life out of Amy. She asked herself how long they must have hugged when Amy came back to the US after her gap year. No wonder Amy's parents believe they are boning each other.

“Hey, let her breath.”, Jared laughed and leaned against the door frame.

Molly turned around and raised her eyebrows questioning what she just heard. Amy laughed quietly and Hope joined her just seconds after.

“I get to hug my best friend as long as I want!”, Molly encountered, a little furious.

“It was a joke, Molls.”, Jared said and walked over to greet Amy.

“What's up? Long time, no see.”, he laughed and hugged her.

Molly turned to Hope, knowing the tall girl wasn't wishing to hug her date's best friend. But as soon as Molly focused on Hope's wet hair, her eyes widened and a smirk appeared on her lips.

“Why didn't you call?”, she whispered to her best friend.

“Can we talk about this later?”, the freckled girl asked quietly.

“We'll be excused for ten minutes.”, Molly said as she dragged Amy out the door.

Hope just chuckled a little as Jared hugged her slightly. He used to be a real pain in the ass but now his whole image has changed. She already realized it yesterday but now, she was actually talking to him about his college education.

“I study mechanical and aerospace engineering at Princeton.”, he told her casually.

“At Princeton?”, she asked impressed.

“It's only the sixth best program in the country so it wasn't my first choice actually.”, he degraded the dream school of many people.

“Even more impressive.”, she nodded slightly.

“Molly told me you major in photography which is very impressive to me, so.”, he laughed politely.

“But don't you have to like... understand physics and maths on a higher level?”, she asked confused.

“You weren't in my math or physics class, right?”, he shook his head, “You would know that I had a thing for math.”

“Well... I was in your philosophy class and I recall, you did have a thing for logic.”, she remembered.

“First two weeks have been a lot though. Classmates told me I already have the worst course on my schedule with a very strict professor and after the second week, I do understand why.”

“Well... if you succeed this semester, the worst course is done and the future awaits of you!”, Hope tried to build up Jared.

“I sure as hell hope I'll pass the mid-term.”, he answered and chuckled cautiously.

“Wait... yesterday after the movie, did you drive back to Princeton?”, the taller girl questioned.

“Oh, no... I drove to Molly's and stayed over in preparation for today. She doesn't have a car and I have my college car so... that was the easiest way to get everyone from A to B.”, he explained to her.

“Did you say 'college car'?”, Hope scoffed in a friendly way.

“It was my Dad's idea.”, he justified. “His name is Millennium Falcon.”

“Your Dad's name or your car's?”, Hope joked laughingly.

“Haha!”, he laughed along.

“Nice name. Nobody can compete with Han Solo.”, Hope referred to the Star Wars movies.

***  
  
Molly and Amy had been talking outside the door for around seven minutes now, well... mainly Molly asked vivid questions and Amy tried her hardest to leave out most details but she definitely wasn't the best liar.

“So... you guys saw each other fully naked?”, Molly smirked, reminding Amy to never have sex the day Molly was visiting.

“Yes, we did.”, Amy answered honestly, “you kind of interrupted with your call.”

“Why didn't you just ignore it?”

“Well... if I would have ignored it, you may have stormed in on me and Hope being completely naked.”, Amy fake smiled to her best friend.

“So you drove back and fucked your girlfriend?”, Molly tried to get details.

“Well, first of all... I didn't drive, Hope drove. Second of all... we didn't fuck then and she isn't my girlfriend.”, Amy sighed loudly.

“So earlier, you didn't just see each other naked in the shower?”, Molly questioned further.

“No...”

“So you fucked her like half an hour ago?”, Molly squealed excited.

“Fuck you for asking all the questions.”

“How do you feel about her now?”, Molly asked caring.

“I really like her.”, Amy admitted and frowned at how much she actually liked the other girl.

“Why didn't you tell me you were going to the drive-in cinema?”, Molly asked, feeling excluded because everyone was there besides her.

“I didn't know we were going until Hope told me in the car”, Amy explained herself, “and I surely didn't know Gigi or Jared would be there, too.”

“Well... must be quiet the coincidence.”, Molly said and still felt convince the others were conspiring against her.

“Dancing with Gigi and Jared was an overwhelming feeling, indeed.”, Amy reminded herself.

“Did you try scissoring?”, Molly tried to drive Amy up the wall.

“I already told you... it's not a real thing!”, Amy said, feeling frustrated.

“And you didn't miss her vagina this time?”

“I fucking hate you sometimes.”, Amy rolled her eyes.

“I do understand why.”, Molly laughed ashamed.

***  
  
The group reunited and talked about what to do with the extra hours because of the early arrival of Molly and Jared. Everyone knew that it was Saturday and in one of the biggest cities of the world there would be many people walking around. Amy suggested to go the public library because she heard only visiting it had quite the impact. Of course Molly found the suggestion outstanding and Hope would never mind visiting a library full of books she could be reading. Well... Jared had already seen some places in the city because one of his cousins lived in Brooklyn but he liked the idea cause he had never been to it.

“We could walk down Fifth Avenue to get to the library.”, he thought out loud, “We would be next to Bryant Park which is really awesome. Best park in NYC if you asked me.”

They had quite the discussion what would be the best transportation and Hope tried to convince everyone that taking the subway would be smarter than anything else. Molly and Amy thought it might be cool to walk all the way and Jared wanted to use his Millennium Falcon. As Amy and Molly stated that democracy should win the race, everyone agreed to walk. It was only an hour and they could see more of the city that way.

Molly and Jared held hands as they walked off campus pointing to different buildings and drawing the others attention to it. Jared made quite the tour guide if you asked Amy because he definitely knew more about the city than she did. After a while Amy and Hope walked a few steps behind the other couple and talked quietly.

“I hope you know I really liked this morning. Really wish we hadn't been interrupted.”, Hope smiled.

“Me too.”, Amy agreed, “Molly tried to get details but I was trying my hardest to leave out most of them.”

Hope chuckled a little and wondered if she could ask Amy what she liked best.

“I really like you.”, Amy interrupted Hope's thoughts.

“I really like you, too.”, Hope smiled widely.

She couldn't believe this was happening. Amy Antsler just told her that she liked her a lot – just so fucking crazy if you asked her.

As they walked by one of New York's famous hot dog stands, Hope's stomach ached and rumbled loudly. Her and her date didn't really get the chance to eat something this morning and with the sweet smell of hot sausages and a crusty bun in the air, she couldn't resist anymore. She pointed at the hot dog guy and asked whether Amy wanted one as well.

“Well... I do want one but I'm going to pay for both.”, Amy clarified strictly.

Hope just shook her head, smiling to herself and shouting for the others to wait while Amy got in line.

“I'm going to ask the others, too.”, Hope said to Amy before jogging over to Molly and Jared.

Amy grabbed her wallet from her pocket and waited for Hope to signal her how many hot dogs she should get. Hope talked to the others and held four fingers up for the freckled girl to see. Amy ordered and knew that Molly wanted one without pickles – she just hated them so much. For the others, she just ordered everything.

Amy walked to the trio who seemed to get along quite well because they were laughing loudly with each other. Surprisingly Jared was quite the funny guy if he took himself seriously enough.

“This hot dog is amazing!”, Molly told them with her mouth full.

“God bless New York.”, Jared laughed.

They kept walking down the street to the point they entered the beautiful Central Park. The girls had never been there and between all the skyscrapers the green trees and grass surely seemed like another planet. New York was just full of surprises which made the city as interesting.

Walking through nature made Hope realize that she missed home. Even though they lived in Los Angeles, a few years ago they would always walk through the forest with her Mom. Faith and her would walk Sky – the lovely Golden Retriever they had back then. They weren't allowed to walk her otherwise because they were just too young and too small to handle if she would pull on the leash strongly. Life was simpler then, she thought to herself as she looked around.

Central Park was crowded with lots of different people. It was indeed a Saturday and the sun was shining from above. The park probably was the best option to see a little nature in this huge city. But as Hope and Amy walked hand in hand, a few steps behind the others again, they shared a look as they walked next to a cliche Asian tourist group. The two didn't understand what the people were saying but Amy couldn't believe her eyes anyway.

It took awhile before they reentered the street with the skyscrapers next to them. Amy just thought how weird it must be to grow up in this city. She imagined that some people from here would be totally flashed visiting countries like Finland where she has been with her parents twice. Her Dad just had a thing for the food and the landscape.

Fifth Avenue was worth a walk alone. The biggest companies like Gucci or Microsoft had stores around and the people exiting either had no bags – which were the tourists from who knows where – or otherwise had like three to ten shopping bags who might have been the rich New Yorker from the upper east side. Hope had only seen Gossip Girl as a 'realistic' New York high society drama so she compared them to it automatically.

The first building Amy knew clearly was the Trump Tower. She stopped for a second and frowned.

“Honestly... look at that fucking tower!”, Amy pointed to it and stopped Hope in her tracks.

“Still can't believe he is our President.”, she answered and shook her head laughingly.

“I can't believe half the country voted for such a lunatic!”, Amy got more upset.

“I can't believe my own father voted for him...”, Hope dropped a bomb.

“Your father voted for Trump?”, Molly intervened out of nowhere.

“He is a Republican. He hated Obama.”, Hope gave more details.

“Is his favorite show Last Man Standing?”, Amy asked frustrated.

“I don't know if it is his favorite but he sure as hell loves the jokes Tim Allen makes.”, she responded, feeling a little interrogated by the others.

“My Dad voted for Trump, too.”, Jared said to hopefully calm down the situation.

“Do they regret it?”, Molly asked, kind of furious.

“They better.”, Amy commented.

Hope and Jared exchanged a short look and both of them just shrugged.

“I avoid talking about politics with my parents.”, Jared explained.

“So do I!”, the tall girl added.

“Well... I'm glad we will be having a Democratic president again.”, Molly said, “Even though I would have preferred Michelle Obama.”

“Me too.”, everyone added in unison.

They kept going, walking next to a big cathedral and seeing the Rockerfeller Center from a block away. Cars were honking, buses were trying to make it in time with the worst traffic and the yellow taxis seemed to be everywhere. People were passing by them all the time. Some were talking on their phones, with leather suitcases in their hands and some were just speeding to get the bus or running down the stairs leading to the subway. The city felt rushed and stress was kind of laying in the air. And as a social worker, Amy asked herself if these people had a higher stress resistance than every other person on Earth.

“Why aren't you taking any photos?”, Amy asked curiously.

“I don't have my camera with me.”, Hope answered and smiled.

“But you do have a phone?”, Amy argued.

“I don't like it. Maybe for selfies but not to capture a moment or for my albums.”

“Can you tell me why?”

“The quality just isn't good enough if you ask me.”, the taller girl explained.

“But the quality of your Polaroid pictures isn't great either?”, Amy suggested.

“Well... that is true but a Polaroid picture can't be changed and that's why I like them the best. There isn't an opportunity to fix the light or the colors because it is already printed and there isn't any copy.”, Hope argued, her voice cracking in the end.

“I was just very curious. I didn't mean to hurt you.”, she picked up on Hope's voice.

Hope kissed the smaller girl and told her that it's totally fine. She did have a problem with people questioning her way of photography but she couldn't be mad at Amy for just asking and telling her thoughts about it.

Amy's phone vibrated in her pocket and as she looked at the notification, she opened it and responded to Kayla's message.

**Kayla:** _I wanted to run this morning and I heard some interesting noises from your room ;)_

**Amy:** _OMG, please stop_

_Did you really?_

**Kayla:** _I'm glad you explained who Hope is_

“Wait... she knows about us?”, Hope asked, obviously reading the messages.

“Yeah, I told her a few days ago. I owned her an apology for running away when I saw you!”, Amy answered.

**Amy** : _I surely had to do it after bailing on you!_

**Kayla:** _Have to say... GET IT GIRL!_

**Amy:** _stoooop_

“She heard us?”, Hope laughed a little.

“Apparently.”, Amy laughed embarrassed.

“Well... we did have fun.”, Hope smirked.

Amy pushed her playfully and told her to stop.

“What exactly did you tell her?”, Hope asked curiously. She hadn't told anyone about Amy besides Annabelle who would have find out through Molly anyway. She was thinking about telling Faith but she did want to drop that bomb in person. Hope never told her sisters about her love life because she either didn't have a relationship or it ended sooner than expected. She knew she used to like boys but started to show more interest in girls, not really knowing if she was bisexual or something else. She liked the term 'queer' for herself because it wasn't as much of a label.

“Just the facts?”, Amy responded a little confused.

***  
  
Amy knocked at the door of Kayla's room, hoping she was there on this rainy Wednesday. The freckled girl had been studying after classes and her head wasn't able to concentrate anymore.

“Come in!”, Kayla shouted from inside and as soon as the door flew open, she smiled in Amy's direction.

“Are you busy right now?”, the freckled girl asked the blonde shyly.

“Are you going to explain to me what the hell is going on?”, Kayla asked directly.

“That's what I was hoping for...”, Amy answered.

“Well... sit down and leave out no details please!”, the blonde smiled excited.

Amy and Kayla sat down on her bed and as Amy started talking, the blonde listened carefully.

“Her name is Hope and we went to high school together. We had some classes together and like a few times we talked a little but... we weren't like anything other than classmates really.”, Amy summarized their old situation.

“And how the fuck is she so important to you now?”, Kayla asked interested.

“Well... Molly had this brilliant idea that we need to experience every party we missed in four years of high school in one night, so we went to three parties the night before graduation and at the last one, Molly and I had a huge fight. I stormed into the bathroom crying and Hope sat on the toilet, trying to smoke a joint in private.”, Amy narrated.

“And?”

“We made out after calling each other out? I don't know why or how but it lead to laying on each other almost naked and kind of starting something.”

“Starting something?”, Kayla tried to get the details.

“Well... I tried to finger her.”, Amy said and gulped.

“Interesting and like... what happened after the party? I know you were in Botswana last year.”, Kayla remembered.

“She came over to bring me my underwear and gave me her number.”, Amy said, avoiding the fact that she didn't use the number in a whole year.

“I hope you did more than sext?”, Kayla joked.

“Actually... I didn't text her... like at all?”, Amy stuttered nervously, knowing how dumb she must have looked.

“And now you study in the same city?”, Kayla asked and tried her hardest not to burst out in laughter.

“Yeah, I didn't know about it.”, Amy explained.

“Seems like she is a keeper then. She forgave you for ghosting her, that's worth something.”, Kayla smiled.

“Maybe you're right... I have to find out.”, Amy said and smiled a little to herself.

***  
  
Walking took way more time than Hope imagined but she really liked seeing more of her new home city. And there was more than enough to see in New York.

After watching How I Met Your Mother more than once, Hope had a thing for the architecture in the city. Even though all the buildings were higher than she imagined and for most of them you had to put your head all the way back to see the top, she never would have guessed that all of them looked a little bit different. There certainly was a typical style for this particular city with bricks and black metal fire escape but Hope still felt like every single building had it's own personality.

After they finally arrived, Amy had the feeling she had seen the library in more than one movie which was probably true. The majestic statues of a lion stood next to the stairs to the long building. It had it's own charm surrounded by all the high skyscrapers.

Each one of them noticed the many tables in front of the library with people sitting around and playing games.

“Oh, yeah... Bryant Park has a gaming area.”, Jared explained after all the girls seemed stunned for a second.

It felt like you could play so many different games which Hope enjoyed very much. You could play cards, chess or funny things like Jenga or Ring Toss. She was convinced that they should play after the library and as soon as she suggested it to the others, they agreed excitedly.

Walking up the stairs gave Amy a dignified feeling and opening the huge doors to enter got her goosebumps. As soon as the doors were shut the noises of the city were gone, like a different planet. The stressed and hectic city just didn't have a place inside this magical library. You were welcomed by a majestic entrance hall which was covered in polished marble. The beautiful arches and pillars made the room feel like an architect might pass out on the spot. Two staircases led up to the second floor with the wide study rooms. Amy entered one of them quietly and she felt like she was able to grab the silence laying in the room. They walked through the study hall quietly, trying not to bother anyone at the long tables next to all the shelves covered in thousands of books, old and new ones. The best thing about the whole building definitely were the paintings and the frets at the walls and the ceiling. Amy and Hope both loved such detail and wanted to stare at it much longer than they had time for it.

Back into the loud city that never sleeps, Amy and Hope realized they haven't eaten anything besides that hot dog yet. They asked the others and of course they had eaten but wouldn't mind eating something small. One of Jared's favorite places was just a few minutes away and he promised delicious food and even though it was already noon that they would still serve breakfast. Just the word 'breakfast' was enough for Amy and Hope to be convinced that they probably couldn't do much wrong. Playing games in front of the Public Library had to wait.

The place was called 'The Red Flame Diner' and it had this typical diner design with a counter in front of the kitchen and a lot of tables for up to six people. Because it was surprisingly empty, Jared sat down at one of them in the back, on one of the brown and yellow benches for it. Almost immediately they were asked by their waiter what they wanted to order after being handed out the menus. He seemed a little bit pissed after Hope, Molly and Amy hadn't ordered after one minute and said he would come back in two minutes. Jared just wanted to eat a chicken salad sandwich and drink lemonade. Amy decided to eat the chocolate chip pancakes even though she thought they were way too expensive but after reading the words, her mind controlled by her stomach wouldn't shut up about it anymore. Molly felt like she probably wouldn't eat much so she just ordered Mozzarella sticks and was happy with her decision. Hope had trouble picking one particular dish because all of them sounded marvelous. She didn't really know if she wanted breakfast or lunch so she was thinking about ordering both but before doing that, she just asked Amy if they would share her breakfast and then eat maybe a burger and the freckled girl liked the idea. So after all, Hope ordered one cheeseburger with a coke.

The group talked about their old classmates and joked around about the weird combination they were right now. None of them would have guessed that one year after graduation they would sit together as friends or considering Molly and Jared as a couple.

“How long have you guys been together now?”, Hope asked curiously as she cut off a piece of the chocolate chip pancakes in front of Amy.

“Around... six months?”, Molly said and looked at Jared for confirmation.

“Yeah, in two weeks.”, Jared smiled to the former school president and leaned in for a kiss which Molly gave him gladly.

“And how do you manage the long distance?”, the taller girl questioned.

“We try to see each other as often as possible but we aren't mad if one has to study or wants to do something with classmates.”, Jared explained.

“Honestly, I think it's very helpful that we don't know anything other. I have to say if Jared and I had been together before graduation, there is a chance I might miss the old times.”, Molly imagined.

“Sounds possible.”, Hope answered.

“Why are you asking them?”, Amy asked the taller girl.

“Well... in Europe I was thinking about long distance and I think it wouldn't be something I want”, Hope justified her question friendly.

“Not even if it was the right person in your eyes?”, Jared commented.

“If it's the right person, there will definitely a path that leads me back to them.”, Hope answered and sounded like the most peaceful and optimistic person – which was kind of weird for her.

“What happened to you?”, Molly immediately asked her and frowned.

“What do you mean?”, the taller girl felt weird.

“I can't believe that the cold high school bitch is such a softie.”, Molly laughed.

“Don't call her that.”, Amy encountered.

“Well... I do understand that you would think that.”, Hope agreed with Molly. “Maybe not to the term in particular but I wasn't the nicest person in school.”

“Sorry to say but you weren't.”, Amy said cautiously.

“I really regret a lot.”, the tall girl admitted, a bit ashamed of her past.

“It's nothing to regret but something to learn from.”, Amy smiled to her date.

After seeing Hope get more comfortable that no one here was mad at her for her four years of high school, Molly changed the subject to Hope's and Annabelle's friendship.

“So... how come Annabelle and you are friends?”, she asked directly.

“What did she say?”, Hope encountered and smirked.

“She said it was a secret.”, Molly answered.

“Well... if she says so, I ain't going to be the snitch.”, Hope laughed.

“Oh, come on!”, Molly and Amy said in unison.

After finishing up, the waiter brought the recite and Jared took it immediately. He said he would be glad to pay for the food and Molly felt the urge to say something about buying people's affection. Hope and Amy assured that they could both pay for it but Jared insisted on paying for everyone since this double date was his idea, too.

***

Soon enough they finally went back to the park and headed to the gaming area to finally play a board game together. There had to be around fifty people sitting at the tables and everyone was playing their very own match, captured inside another dimension. Some probably go here every day and some were there for the first time, just like the friends group. Hope went to one of the instructors and asked how they would get the games and start playing. The instructor, a sweet older lady, showed Hope around and told her to sit at a table with four chairs. She suggested some games and explained how to play them. The group agreed to start with Taboo because it was always fun to play.

The couples teamed up against each other and pretty soon Molly and Jared were two points ahead. It was Hope's turn to explain the random words and she wanted to rock this round so they would take the lead. Molly counted down and Hope drew the first card.

“Someone who only thinks about themselves.”, she blurted out fast.

“Egoist?”

As soon as Amy said the word, Hope drew the next card and read through the words thinking how to outline.

“If you're at the airport, you have to show your?”

“Passport.”

And another card was drawn by the taller girl while Molly watched the sand fall down the hourglass.

“We talked about this at the restaurant last week. It's around seven hours from here...”

“Eh...”, Amy wasn't remembering such a detail under these panicking circumstances.

“You always wanted to go there. It's at the Northern border and pretty famous.”, Hope added to give Amy more hints.

“OH! Niagara Falls?”, the freckled girl felt the light above her head light up.

Hope put the card down and looked at the hourglass. There was a possibility to get at least one more done, maybe even two. Next card.

“He played the enemy in The Dark Night.”, Hope talked faster than ever.

“Eh... The Joker? Heath Ledger?!”, Amy guessed.

The next card was mean. Hope knew she had only a few seconds left and didn't have an approach how to start explaining.

“Well... trees produce a gas that we-”, she started but was cut off.

“Oxygen!”, Amy interrupted.

“And how is the process called?”, Hope asked.

Molly was starting to shout loudly to make the girls stop because their time was up and at the same time Amy guessed the word correctly. The group discussed whether the word counted and as soon as the instructor picked up on the situation, she tried to calm everyone down a bit. Molly was starting to get furious because she wasn't going to accept that Amy and Hope just scored five points, getting them ahead by three. Jared realized that the discussion wasn't going anywhere and said that Amy and Hope should have the point and afterwards assured Molly that they were the dream team anyway. But the obvious dream team turned out to be the other couple because they won with six points ahead.

After the game, they played one round of Jenga which was over faster than expected as Jared accidentally bumped his elbow against the table. The small tower fell and the pieces landed in Amy's lap and all over the floor. They picked them up and put them back into the box. The friends thanked the instructor and headed inside the park.

For two hours they just sat there and talked about all kinds of topics. Amy was impressed by the little peace people were looking for. They still were in the middle of Manhattan and the skyscrapers around the park were more than nice to look at. The most impressive one was definitely the dark building with the golden details – turned out to be the American Radiator Building by the same architect who designed the Rockerfeller Center. Right next to it Amy could see the top of what she thought was the Empire State Building. She always wanted to go up to the observation platform and look over this huge city but her parents weren't the kind of people who would fly across the country to stay in another city.

“I have cards if you guys want to play”, Molly offered after no one seemed to know what to talk about anymore.

New York clearly legalized marijuana two months ago because around the park, many people seemed to share different joints. Hope was looking around and wondered if she should ask the others if it was fine to smoke one, too. She knew that Jared probably couldn't smoke because he has his car with him and has to bring the couple back home later. Molly just didn't seem to be the person who would take drugs – even though she had been drinking more according to Annabelle. Amy had smoked before, she knew for sure but was she going to participate? Hope wasn't sure.

“I'm all down for playing cards.”, Hope smiled and reached inside her inner pocket, “But I do want to smoke some weed, Sativa, to make me more active and passionate.”

“You want to smoke a joint right now?”, Jared asked to reassure himself he heard correctly.

“Would that be a problem with any of you?”, she asked shyly.

Jared laughed and said he is a little jealous. He used to smoke with Gigi back in high school but after going to college, he preferred to drive and taking drugs and driving just wasn't something he would ever do.

“Very responsible of you.”, Amy commented and gave him a thumbs up.

“Well... I won't participate but I won't tell you what to do or not do.”, Molly answered Hope's question.

“I agree with Molly.”, Hope's date answered and kissed the taller girl on her cheek.

Amy didn't have a problem if Hope smoked a joint from time to time. It was her life and as long as she was getting along with the others and no one was having a problem, she surely wouldn't tell her what drugs to take. In Botswana Amy had been drinking beer and because of the other volunteers, she tried weed again – which turned out to be just fine.

“What does Sativa mean?”, Molly asked curiously.

“There are three types of weed basically. There is Indica which is the being stuck on the couch and hysterically laughing weed. Sativa makes you high, so you get creative, want to be productive and it lifts you up and Hybrid is just a mixture of both.”, Hope explained to the Yale student.

“There sure is a lot to know...”, Amy answered as Hope took a hit from her joint.

***  
  


The small group played cards a longer time than they expected. They all had so much fun and kept on making new suggestions for games to play together. At some point they even ended up playing a round of poker with real money.

“It's either clothes or money, you have to loose one thing.”, Jared joked, secretly hoping his girlfriend might show a little more skin.

“You are such an idiot sometimes.”, Molly answered and pushed him playfully.

The girls just laughed and were glad that Jared didn't get the chance to undress any of them because if they were being honest, he probably won most of the games. Either he is really lucky or he has a really great way of hiding his abilities.

During the round everyone lost some money at some point but Amy turned out to play very well. She knew how to make everyone uncomfortable and scared of losing all their money. Hope was a little intimidated by her date's moves.

“You clearly have played this before.”, she suggested smirkingly.

“Jacob told me how to play and then I had to figure out the rest.”, she said proudly.

“If we ever drive to the Niagara Falls, I wanna get to know this mysterious friend of yours.”, Hope stated.

“But I want to get to know him too!”, Molly pouted sad.

“Hey, I'm not even sure if I ever get to see him again, okay?”, Amy tried to calm her down. “He lives father away than I wished for.”

**Amy:** _Hey you <3_  
  


_My friends just said they want to get to know you_

**Jacob:** _Hey <3_

_I do miss you a lot, so maybe we could call each other tomorrow?_

**Amy:** _They actually meant in person_

**Jacob:** _WHAT?_

**Amy:** _Well... Hope said we could drive to the Niagara Falls after mid-term over the weekend_

_So maybe there might be a chance we visit you in Toronto_

**Jacob:** _That would certainly be awesome but aren't sixteen hours to drive a bit much?_

“Jacob likes the idea but he says we would drive sixteen hours.”, Amy summarized.

“Well... it took me more than 24 hours to drive here from LA.”, Hope reminded Amy.

**Amy:** _Hope doesn't have a problem with long drives :)_

**Jacob:** _Alright! When do you guys have mid-term?_

**Amy:** _I have my last exam on Wednesday the 25 th and I think Hope has hers Thursday morning_

“Jared and I will get some ice cream, do you want some?”, Molly told the other girls.

“In the middle of the game?”, Hope playfully asked.

“I'm going to take my cards with me. I don't trust any of you.”, Jared stuck out his tongue.

“Molly knows what I like, what about you?”, Amy addressed Hope directly.

“I like vanilla or pistachio.”, the taller girl answered.

The couple walked away, hand in hand and shared a kiss on their way over to the cute little shop.

“You actually want to drive over to Jacob?”, Amy asked, figuring out how serious she has to take the offer from her date.

“I meant it. I really want to see the Niagara Falls with you and driving to Toronto afterwards is just around the corner.”, Hope said.

“So we will drive over after mid-term?”, Amy had to be sure. Hope just nodded and smiled a little.

**Amy:** _Alright, we are coming after Hope's exam_

**Jacob:** _See you then <3_

“But I won't be in town the weekend before mid-term.”, Hope told her date.

Faith had called her two days ago that their Dad would pay for the flight because he wasn't sure if he needed to work during the holidays. Wouldn't be the first year that either he wasn't there at all or he needed to work a case in his office. Chances were very low that he would be home, Hope's oldest sister told her. Hope was glad she got to see her sisters again. Missing them was awful and she definitely didn't get enough information what was happening on the other side of the country. The girls weren't getting along as well as before because Mercy's grades started to go downhill and Joy wasn't happy with her classmates anymore. Hope knew she needed to see them in person to help them get through whatever was happening.

“Where are you?”, Amy asked confused.

“I'll be with my family over Thanksgiving.”, she nodded enthusiastically.

“Really? I'm jealous! I'll be studying alone in my room.”

“I just couldn't resist Joy anymore. She said I have to make mashed potatoes.”, Hope chuckled.

“They love you.”, Amy said smilingly.

“And I love them even more.”, Hope stated peacefully.  
  
After eating ice cream and playing the round of poker – which Amy won by the way – they headed back to campus. They walked through different streets than before and the city felt hectic and stressful again. Bryant Park and the library surely were ways to escape all the troubles of the city.

Next to Jared's car, the group stopped and told each other their goodbyes. Molly and Amy took the longest – of course – and Molly didn't want to let her best friend go. They assured each other to meet again to study because if they were being honest, nothing could compare to them studying together.

  
“We should really hit the bars or clubs.”, Jared's old self spoke up a little.

“Why?”, Molly asked confused.

“Didn't you have fun at the parties we have been to?”

“Those were college parties.”, Molly reminded him that there clearly was a difference.

“Well... we could go to a college bar.”, he offered friendly.

“I think a bar would be cool.”, Hope said and laughed.

“We'll talk about the details soon.”, Amy added and hugged her best friend one last time.

“Sure.”, Molly smiled at Hope and Amy and walked to the other side of the car. Jared got into the driver's seat and started the engine, waving to the girls one last time before driving away.

Amy invited Hope to her dorm room and they tried to watch the Hunger Games once again, this time finishing the first movie. After starting the second one, Hope fell asleep and Amy decided to shut the notebook and cuddle up into her date's side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> I hope you liked the chapter and I have to admit, I felt very uncomfortable writing a sex scene - even though it wasn't the first one I have written. I have a problem with sex and didn't have much in my life. I'm on the waiting list for a therapy.
> 
> Otherwise it will probably take some time to write the next chapter because my life is starting to become normal again which means working every day and apparently also hobbies are possible again. I hope you guys are safe and healthy!
> 
> Please send me cute date ideas for Hope and Amy <3
> 
> Love you!


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